*** WARNING: This is part 2 of a 3 part story. If you haven't read part 1, you will be confused ***
Lent began the following week, and on Thursday I went to my adoration hour in the chapel at my church. My mind was buzzing with activity, and I tried to wrap my head around everything. I excitedly started to pray and tell God all the good news. First and foremost, Ricardo, my crush, was interested in me and wanted to ask me on a date. I also had Jack, my good friend, ask me out on a date too. How sweet was that; a free meal and movie from Jack, plus the chance to start a new relationship with Ricardo!
It was then for the first time in my life, I heard God speak to me. It wasn’t like hearing words in my ear, but feeling God speaking to my heart. I know it’s rare, and that most people don’t understand that, but here is what happened in conversation mode.
Me: Can you believe it? Two guys are interested in me.
God: This isn’t what I want.
Me: What? Don’t worry. Jack is just a friend. I don’t think anything will happen past a first date. You can’t turn down a free meal. Then hopefully Ricardo will ask me out soon after, and we can start dating. I’ve never got this much attention from guys before!
God: I know what you need to do for Lent this year.
Me: Sure! Give up cokes, pray extra at night, maybe skip a t.v. show. What is it God?
God: Give up dating for Lent.
Me: Pardon? I think I heard that wrong. I thought you said to give up dating for Lent.
God: I want you to give up dating for Lent for me this year.
Me: ……um, but I already told Jack I’d go out with him, and what about Ricardo?
God: This is my will for you. Trust me.
The funny thing about God is that he made us with a free will. That means even when we are sitting in an empty chapel feeling God speak directly to our heart, we still get to choose our actions. Someone once asked me how I knew that it was God’s idea and not my own; let me assure you, as a chronically single girl, I would never think to give up dating. I sat in the chapel silence for the rest of the hour trying to figure out what to do.
The next day, I made the most awkward phone call of my life. I called Jack to tell him that our date was called off by God. I’m sure any other person would have written me off for a loony, but Jack seemed to take it well. How can you argue with someone saying it’s God’s will? I told him, we’ll just have to wait till Lent is over. Luckily, our friendship was strong enough that we were still able to be in the same room without it being super awkward. The canceling of our first date before it even happened even became a joke between us and some friends.
As for Ricardo, things finally began to get interesting. We started hanging out more and more. I told him about the no dating during Lent, but we agreed that hanging out wasn’t anything against the rules. Casual video game sessions at my apartment, slowly evolved into late night adoration chapel visits praying side by side. As I would look at his back, while he knelt down before the Eucharist, I couldn’t help at smile at how perfectly things were going. Our ‘hanging out’ became more and more frequent, and my feelings for Ricardo grew stronger. We made plans that weekend to go out to dinner and a movie, and somehow rationalize it in my head as not a date. I was coming to a breaking point.
In utter frustration and angst, I went to the chapel that night by myself. I prayed to God in ALL CAPS. “Listen God. I know you don’t want me to date during Lent, but I can’t change how I feel for Ricardo. IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS FOR RICARDO, THEN YOU NEED TO SQUASH THIS LIKE A BUG, BECAUSE I LIKE HIM, AND THAT’S IT!”
There’s a funny thing about prayers. You should always be careful what you pray for.
*** To continue, please go to part 3. Don't worry, it's the last one ***
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