January 11, 2011

Mommy Secrets

I think more and more about how in this digital age, people have become chronic over-sharers. From mundane daily rituals to emotional outbursts that probably should have been kept private. Now I admit that I am a chronic over sharer, but I feel there is an area in women's lives that has been kept quiet for too long.

Becoming a Mom is an event that will completely change a Woman's life without exception. It is a weird paradox that having a kid is the best thing you will ever do, but at the same time be the hardest thing you'll ever do. In this paradox, I feel that Mom's everywhere will brag and glow about the wonderful things, but feel ashamed or closed lipped about the hard things.

When a woman becomes pregnant, there is excitement and joy and just a small glimmer of the hardships ahead. It's like women who have gone through it already want to gloss over the ugly parts, so not to scare them. But in truth, it is when we show our vulnerability that we create understanding and comfort. It's when I have an honest moment with another woman about my struggle that I feel like I can go through this because someone else has before me.

So in the effort to over share, I will say this.
  • Being a stay-at-home, can be the loneliest feeling in the world sometimes (thanks Mom)
  • Even when you know breastfeeding is the best thing for your baby, it does not mean it will be something you will enjoy or cherish for a year (my own revelation)
  • After 4 months of exhaustion, confusion, and disarray, you will begin to get your feet back under you and get used to this new life (thanks Kendra)
  • You will make mistakes with your child every week, just cut yourself a little slack and do better next time.
  • There was a point after having Clare, that I had to take an honest look at myself and confide in my husband. I said, "If I have one more breakdown like this, you have to take me to a doctor no matter how hard I fight you."

Every pregnancy is different, every child is different, and every one adjust differently. But just know that whatever you are going through, you are not alone and someone else has probably lived through it too. On a brighter note:

  • Everything's a phase, and will pass eventually
  • No one goes to college wearing diapers and sucking their thumb in public
  • You will never love someone so unconditionally as your own kid. They bring you the greatest joy.