*** WARNING: This is part 2 of a 3 part story. If you haven't read part 1, you will be confused ***
Lent began the following week, and on Thursday I went to my adoration hour in the chapel at my church. My mind was buzzing with activity, and I tried to wrap my head around everything. I excitedly started to pray and tell God all the good news. First and foremost, Ricardo, my crush, was interested in me and wanted to ask me on a date. I also had Jack, my good friend, ask me out on a date too. How sweet was that; a free meal and movie from Jack, plus the chance to start a new relationship with Ricardo!
It was then for the first time in my life, I heard God speak to me. It wasn’t like hearing words in my ear, but feeling God speaking to my heart. I know it’s rare, and that most people don’t understand that, but here is what happened in conversation mode.
Me: Can you believe it? Two guys are interested in me.
God: This isn’t what I want.
Me: What? Don’t worry. Jack is just a friend. I don’t think anything will happen past a first date. You can’t turn down a free meal. Then hopefully Ricardo will ask me out soon after, and we can start dating. I’ve never got this much attention from guys before!
God: I know what you need to do for Lent this year.
Me: Sure! Give up cokes, pray extra at night, maybe skip a t.v. show. What is it God?
God: Give up dating for Lent.
Me: Pardon? I think I heard that wrong. I thought you said to give up dating for Lent.
God: I want you to give up dating for Lent for me this year.
Me: ……um, but I already told Jack I’d go out with him, and what about Ricardo?
God: This is my will for you. Trust me.
The funny thing about God is that he made us with a free will. That means even when we are sitting in an empty chapel feeling God speak directly to our heart, we still get to choose our actions. Someone once asked me how I knew that it was God’s idea and not my own; let me assure you, as a chronically single girl, I would never think to give up dating. I sat in the chapel silence for the rest of the hour trying to figure out what to do.
The next day, I made the most awkward phone call of my life. I called Jack to tell him that our date was called off by God. I’m sure any other person would have written me off for a loony, but Jack seemed to take it well. How can you argue with someone saying it’s God’s will? I told him, we’ll just have to wait till Lent is over. Luckily, our friendship was strong enough that we were still able to be in the same room without it being super awkward. The canceling of our first date before it even happened even became a joke between us and some friends.
As for Ricardo, things finally began to get interesting. We started hanging out more and more. I told him about the no dating during Lent, but we agreed that hanging out wasn’t anything against the rules. Casual video game sessions at my apartment, slowly evolved into late night adoration chapel visits praying side by side. As I would look at his back, while he knelt down before the Eucharist, I couldn’t help at smile at how perfectly things were going. Our ‘hanging out’ became more and more frequent, and my feelings for Ricardo grew stronger. We made plans that weekend to go out to dinner and a movie, and somehow rationalize it in my head as not a date. I was coming to a breaking point.
In utter frustration and angst, I went to the chapel that night by myself. I prayed to God in ALL CAPS. “Listen God. I know you don’t want me to date during Lent, but I can’t change how I feel for Ricardo. IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS FOR RICARDO, THEN YOU NEED TO SQUASH THIS LIKE A BUG, BECAUSE I LIKE HIM, AND THAT’S IT!”
There’s a funny thing about prayers. You should always be careful what you pray for.
*** To continue, please go to part 3. Don't worry, it's the last one ***
April 1, 2010
Finding Love in Lent - Part 3
*** WARNING: This is Part 3 of a 3 Part Blog. If you have not read part 1 & 2, you will be confused***
That Saturday is a day that still shines vividly in my mind. It was an unusually hot day, and our college CSA group was having a garage sale. I was having a great time hanging out with my friends, and Jack and I stayed late to help clean up the aftermath. It was 2 in the afternoon when Jack invited me to hang out at his apartment across the street. It was a big joke that, as being as popular as he was, everyone and their uncle had been to Jack’s apartment except me. I would joke with him that he didn’t want me over because he secretly had pictures of me hanging up in his room.
We crossed the old brick road and headed to his apartment. I got to meet his roommates, get a tour of the place, and hung out in his room. We just started talking, and once you got Jack and me talking it was about impossible to get us to stop. Minutes turned to hours, and before I knew it, it was already 5. As if by fate, Jack had to leave the room to go talk to one of his roommates. The second he shut the door, my cell phone began to ring. It was Ricardo! I didn’t want to hurt Jack’s feelings if he caught me talking to another guys about a ‘not really a date’ date plans, so I snuck into his bathroom to take the call. I was so excited to figure out where we were going to eat and what movie to watch. Ricardo’s voice sounded a little sheepish as I answered the phone. The conversation seemed to hit my ear drums in slow motion.
“Hey, Mary. Listen, about tonight. See, I accidentally made a mistake. I can’t hang out with you tonight. I forgot that I asked a girl to go to the drive-in tonight.” Ricardo said. Trying not to seem completely desperate, I mumbled, “A girl?” “Huh, what did you say? I didn’t hear you.” “Oh, um, nothing, that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Click. I literally felt the emotions I had for Ricardo drain from my body. Ricardo had just thrown a cold glass of water in my face, and I could finally see what our relationship was. Nothing. Friends, yes, but nothing more, and we never would be. I braced myself for a Saturday night alone watching sappy chick flicks as I left the bathroom.
When I went into the room, Jack was smiling at me, blissfully unaware at what had just happened. I was about to try and excuse myself, not wanting to overstay my welcome when he invited me to eat a home cooked Italian meal made by his roommates girlfriend. Anyone who knows me knows that I will never turn down an opportunity to eat. While the conversations were great, the bacon-chicken-pasta dish was even better. (Loryn, if you happen to read this, please e-mail me the recipe before I drool on the keyboard).
As the night went on, I kept on waiting for a dull in the conversation or an awkward pause to finally take my leave, but it never came. Jack invited me to go buy a new stereo for his car, so we took the wind whipping drive in his topless Jeep to go shopping. Then came dessert. I should have known things were changing when I admitted that I didn’t really like ice cream, and Jack offered to just split his favorite strawberry shortcake that I’m sure he’d prefer to have all to himself. You don’t just admit your weird food dislikes or share your favorite food with just anyone. We headed back to his apartment with the idea of watching a movie. As we sat there on his bed talking more and more, we lost track of time and never even started the movie. Finally at midnight, I noticed the clock. I couldn’t believe time had flown so fast just talking! Jack pointed out that if I stayed 2 more hours, we would have spent a 12 hour day together. I was up for the challenge. The talk continued about faith, family, and our future goals. We seemed to agree on everything. By the last 30 minutes, Jack was struggling to keep his eyes open, and I finally felt that my eyes had been open for the first time. Jack wasn’t just some just nice guy that was good friend. He was a partner, a man of God, and a perfect guy for me. At 2 a.m., Jack walked me to my car and I spent the whole drive home thinking how completely God changed my life in just 24 hours after I had prayed to Him.
Easter came and went with no second date asked by Jack. Just when I thought I had blown it with him, he asked me out in the most spectacular way. It was a 100% different from the first time, but that’s a story for another time.
As most of you can guess, Jack is my husband, Kevin. We got married in 2006 under what I know was God’s blessing. While Ricardo should still remain anonymous, I’m happy to report that he has recently entered the Seminary to pursue the priesthood. I guess there was a reason he could never stick to a girl. God wanted him for Himself.
The moral of the story is to not be afraid of God and his will. Though through our human eyes what he asks of us can seem all wrong and not what we want for ourselves, we must have living faith that he knows what’s best for us in the end. I used to think a lot about what would have happened if I chose to do my own will instead of His. I would have brushed Kevin aside and ruined our friendship, only to start a relationship with a person that was doomed to fail and leave me broken hearted and alone in the end. While God’s path didn’t feel like the easy one, it was the best one for my life. I hope this Easter we can all embrace what God wants for us in our lives.
That Saturday is a day that still shines vividly in my mind. It was an unusually hot day, and our college CSA group was having a garage sale. I was having a great time hanging out with my friends, and Jack and I stayed late to help clean up the aftermath. It was 2 in the afternoon when Jack invited me to hang out at his apartment across the street. It was a big joke that, as being as popular as he was, everyone and their uncle had been to Jack’s apartment except me. I would joke with him that he didn’t want me over because he secretly had pictures of me hanging up in his room.
We crossed the old brick road and headed to his apartment. I got to meet his roommates, get a tour of the place, and hung out in his room. We just started talking, and once you got Jack and me talking it was about impossible to get us to stop. Minutes turned to hours, and before I knew it, it was already 5. As if by fate, Jack had to leave the room to go talk to one of his roommates. The second he shut the door, my cell phone began to ring. It was Ricardo! I didn’t want to hurt Jack’s feelings if he caught me talking to another guys about a ‘not really a date’ date plans, so I snuck into his bathroom to take the call. I was so excited to figure out where we were going to eat and what movie to watch. Ricardo’s voice sounded a little sheepish as I answered the phone. The conversation seemed to hit my ear drums in slow motion.
“Hey, Mary. Listen, about tonight. See, I accidentally made a mistake. I can’t hang out with you tonight. I forgot that I asked a girl to go to the drive-in tonight.” Ricardo said. Trying not to seem completely desperate, I mumbled, “A girl?” “Huh, what did you say? I didn’t hear you.” “Oh, um, nothing, that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Click. I literally felt the emotions I had for Ricardo drain from my body. Ricardo had just thrown a cold glass of water in my face, and I could finally see what our relationship was. Nothing. Friends, yes, but nothing more, and we never would be. I braced myself for a Saturday night alone watching sappy chick flicks as I left the bathroom.
When I went into the room, Jack was smiling at me, blissfully unaware at what had just happened. I was about to try and excuse myself, not wanting to overstay my welcome when he invited me to eat a home cooked Italian meal made by his roommates girlfriend. Anyone who knows me knows that I will never turn down an opportunity to eat. While the conversations were great, the bacon-chicken-pasta dish was even better. (Loryn, if you happen to read this, please e-mail me the recipe before I drool on the keyboard).
As the night went on, I kept on waiting for a dull in the conversation or an awkward pause to finally take my leave, but it never came. Jack invited me to go buy a new stereo for his car, so we took the wind whipping drive in his topless Jeep to go shopping. Then came dessert. I should have known things were changing when I admitted that I didn’t really like ice cream, and Jack offered to just split his favorite strawberry shortcake that I’m sure he’d prefer to have all to himself. You don’t just admit your weird food dislikes or share your favorite food with just anyone. We headed back to his apartment with the idea of watching a movie. As we sat there on his bed talking more and more, we lost track of time and never even started the movie. Finally at midnight, I noticed the clock. I couldn’t believe time had flown so fast just talking! Jack pointed out that if I stayed 2 more hours, we would have spent a 12 hour day together. I was up for the challenge. The talk continued about faith, family, and our future goals. We seemed to agree on everything. By the last 30 minutes, Jack was struggling to keep his eyes open, and I finally felt that my eyes had been open for the first time. Jack wasn’t just some just nice guy that was good friend. He was a partner, a man of God, and a perfect guy for me. At 2 a.m., Jack walked me to my car and I spent the whole drive home thinking how completely God changed my life in just 24 hours after I had prayed to Him.
Easter came and went with no second date asked by Jack. Just when I thought I had blown it with him, he asked me out in the most spectacular way. It was a 100% different from the first time, but that’s a story for another time.
As most of you can guess, Jack is my husband, Kevin. We got married in 2006 under what I know was God’s blessing. While Ricardo should still remain anonymous, I’m happy to report that he has recently entered the Seminary to pursue the priesthood. I guess there was a reason he could never stick to a girl. God wanted him for Himself.
The moral of the story is to not be afraid of God and his will. Though through our human eyes what he asks of us can seem all wrong and not what we want for ourselves, we must have living faith that he knows what’s best for us in the end. I used to think a lot about what would have happened if I chose to do my own will instead of His. I would have brushed Kevin aside and ruined our friendship, only to start a relationship with a person that was doomed to fail and leave me broken hearted and alone in the end. While God’s path didn’t feel like the easy one, it was the best one for my life. I hope this Easter we can all embrace what God wants for us in our lives.
March 15, 2010
Weekend Warriors
After weeks of inactivity and Kevin working like a dog, we were blessed with a three day weekend. Being overachievers, we decided to make the most of it and pack it to gills. On Friday, we strapped up the canoe (a feat deserving of two standing ovations) and headed to Brushy Creek Park. It was beautiful and we basically had the creek to ourselves since it was a Friday afternoon.
Since I'm not supposed to be lifting heavy things (and I have no muscles to speak of) my trusty pack mule had to do most the carrying. I call him the 'canoe bug'. Then Kevin treated us to a lunch a Z Tejas. It's a very nice restaurant to go into after sweating on a lake for an hour, but no one seemed to mind.
Clare did amazing in the boat. Only a few bonks on the head from tipping over. The wind was way too strong for us to be out there for very long, but at least the experience answered the question that we do not want to go on the kayak adventure on our cruise. My arms were killing me the next day and we are there for relaxation!
Then on Saturday, we packed up a lunch, picked up some friends, and headed to the Zoo in Waco. It was perfect timing. We went early in the morning before the spring break crowds, timed the naps so they would all be in the car, and had a great time at the zoo. Don't know how much Clare actually saw, but we really went for Kevin and me! She did love the fish and would 'bark' at the large cats. Luckily for her, she doesn't seem to be allergic to orangutans like her father. (Trust me, I don't buy that line either, but he does seem to get sneezy every time we are in the orangutan exhibit. Very suspicious!)
Saturday night, we were lucky to have an old coworker of mine come over to babysit so that we could go celebrate a friends birthday. The night was great with food, poker, friends, and running into unexpected mutual acquaintances. We wished Chris a happy 30th, but it all seemed to end too soon.
Our plan was to completely pass out on Sunday and do nothing but go to church. Unfortunately the weed infested yard got to Kevin, and he ended up doing a lot of yard work instead. Luckily we were able to dust off the darts in our garage and get in a few games. We're ready for my parents, David and Liz to come into town this week for a match up!
This was truly an active and jam packed weekend for us. I don't think either of us have slept so hard in a long time. Now it's onto packing and cleaning for the cruise in 5 days. I'm going to try and enjoy Clare as much as I can right now, because I know I'm going to miss her dearly when we head out on Saturday.
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