I should have taken pictures! No, nothing too risque, just pictures. Sure the thighs jiggled a bit more than I liked and the whiteness of the skin would be shocking with a flash. But I still should have taken pictures...
It's cute in the beginning, almost a thrill. "Oh I'm pregnant! I'm going to get so big". Then it starts to scare you as the first stretch marks appear on the back of your thighs. As the weight packs on and the stomach grows, your mind starts to forget about your body and only thinks about the life you are carrying. I guess it's God's coping mechanism with what is really happening with your body. But then the day of reckoning comes.
No, I'm not talking about the day you give birth. Yeah, that's a thrill and joy, but not the day you'll really remember. I'm talking about a week or so later. The day when you step out of the shower, start drying yourself off, the condensation evaporates off the mirror, and you see what has happened to your body.
"Ahhh!" I screamed. Those cute little beginning stretch marks decided to multiply like rabbits all over my legs, back, and stomach. I dare to turn a little and shiver at the sight of my butt. It looks like a pack of alley cats used my butt as a scratching pad. Skin that once encircled the life I carried within me, now look rejected as it droops in cascading folds. And further down, I'm still having nightmares of what it went through, so we just won't get into that!
Now luckily most of the extra weight seemed to slip away. I guess it helps when you have someone draining ounces of milk off of you around the clock. But those last few pounds just don't seem to want to budge. It's like those pounds have found a nice cushy home that they would fight to the death for. The phrase "Mom Butt" flashes through my mind, and I can see that my fate has been sealed. I had to go swimsuit shopping yesterday. I cringed at every suit, and pulled at every edge hoping it could cover just one more inch of skin. The days of bikinis are long gone.
Clare is over four months now, and I think I look great... as long as I am fully clothed. But this story is not to terrify any of my friends that are pregnant or going to be in the future. My little girl is worth every mark, and I will create new ones for her future siblings. I just want to say to those ladies out there, take a few pictures. They will be something nice to look back on right before you pop in the "tone and firm" workout DVD!
April 9, 2009
February 24, 2009
True Devotion
The first few moments when Clare was born were filled with anxiety, joy, and excitement. When they laid her on my stomach, I saw the beautiful life that would become my whole world. I wouldn't necessarily call it love at first sight, but a deep and heavy emotion took over body. The gravity and sincerity of what it means to be a mother filled me. From that moment on I became 100% devoted to Clare.
I would do anything for her. I remember one night when she was screaming in my arms and tears were streaming down my face, I whispered over and over in her ear, "I will always love you. I will always take care of you." Those words will always be true.
There is no mountain too high or river too deep. I will kiss her face and hold down her arm as the nurse has to draw blood from her month old arm. I will feed her from my own body to give her the nourishment she needs. I will talk in a ridiculously high pitched baby voice to get her to smile. I will rock her in my arms when she is screaming for hours. I will wake up every 2 hours for weeks till she can sleep longer on her own. I will sneak into her room when she is peacefully sleeping, just to make sure everything is alright. I will proudly wear the shirt that she just decided to spit-up on. I will read every self-help book made to make sure she is happy and healthy. I will fall in love with every little part of her body.
Clare depends on me for everything, and I take that job seriously. Being her Mom has been some of the most challenging times and at the same time the most rewarding. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I became her mom, and I will always have a devotion to her that cannot be broken. My bond to her will last a lifetime.
For everyone out there who reads this, I hope you take a moment to thank your own mom. There is no one in the world who loves you like she does. I have never loved or appreciated my own mom as much as I do now. Thank you for being devoted to me, Mom!
I would do anything for her. I remember one night when she was screaming in my arms and tears were streaming down my face, I whispered over and over in her ear, "I will always love you. I will always take care of you." Those words will always be true.
There is no mountain too high or river too deep. I will kiss her face and hold down her arm as the nurse has to draw blood from her month old arm. I will feed her from my own body to give her the nourishment she needs. I will talk in a ridiculously high pitched baby voice to get her to smile. I will rock her in my arms when she is screaming for hours. I will wake up every 2 hours for weeks till she can sleep longer on her own. I will sneak into her room when she is peacefully sleeping, just to make sure everything is alright. I will proudly wear the shirt that she just decided to spit-up on. I will read every self-help book made to make sure she is happy and healthy. I will fall in love with every little part of her body.
Clare depends on me for everything, and I take that job seriously. Being her Mom has been some of the most challenging times and at the same time the most rewarding. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I became her mom, and I will always have a devotion to her that cannot be broken. My bond to her will last a lifetime.
For everyone out there who reads this, I hope you take a moment to thank your own mom. There is no one in the world who loves you like she does. I have never loved or appreciated my own mom as much as I do now. Thank you for being devoted to me, Mom!
January 14, 2009
Momma Morris
*squeak* *grunt* *ugh* *whah* *oiyeee* The new sounds of my everyday life. Beside me squirms my new little girl, Clare Noelle Morris. It is quite surreal to think that a little over six weeks ago, she was just a bump in my stomach that I carried around everyday. Those were the easy days. My life has completely changed since then and will never be the same.
I have a new job now. The title of Mom is a 24 hours, 7 days a week position with no holiday's or sick leave. I'm available for a 10 am diaper change, 3 pm rocking chair routine, 9 pm booger sucking, and 2 am feeding frenzy. Everyday is a casual Friday, and some days showers are optional. There was no training before I took the position, so it has naturally had some tough moments.
Though I feel more and more like I am starting to get the hang of having a child, I am still constantly flipping Clare over to look for an owners manual. There is just so much involved in raising a child, and I'm doing most of it by guessing. I have a new found respect for parents all over the world.
Clare is the love of my life. She came out looking just like Kevin, but with a head full of curly hair like me. She changes every week and hits new milestones all the time. My favorite is that she's starting to smile. You can see the concentration on her face as she stares at my smile and works her check muscles to try and imitate it.
I would not be able to handle all the changes if it weren't for my loving and supportive husband. Kevin has lifted me up when I get so blue that I can't see any hope. He has whisked Clare away when she's been crying in my arms for an entire day. He has cooked and cleaned to help take care of the house. And has even woken up with me on some night shifts to help change a diaper.
I still feel as though I'm running on half a tank of gas and half a brain, but Clare is worth every moment. My life will never be the same, and I'm grateful for that!
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