*T*R*I*S*T*A*N*

The Stat's: big brown eyes, vel-crow curly black hair, comes up about waist high on me, favorite color is green, african american, four years old, loves to dance, can sing all of the vegitales theme song, and has an obsession with eating chocolate. This is Tristan. We first met when he was one and have grown up together ever since. I've seen first steps, first words, and even first successful potty trips! Tristan was adopted by a woman at my work and her husband (both being white). He comes to work with us every day. I know it's kind of an odd work place! I love tristan so much that I thought I would share a few of his "kids say the darndest things".

- Tristan loves "boo-boo's". We practice the "kiss it to make it better" practice at work to try and conserve band-aids. He'll spend minutes inspecting my hands just to spot something that looks like a scratch so that he can quickly make it feel better. One day when my faces complexion wasn't the clearest, He pointed at a red bump on my chin.
T: "Do you have a boo-boo?" (getting ready to kiss my chin)
M: "hmm... No, that's called a pimple" (trying not to be embarrassed that he just pointed out a zit)
T: "A pimmppeeeel?" (struggling with the new word)
M: "Yes, a pimple"
T: (looking at me for awhile contemplating) "Mary, you have pimples ALL OVER your face!"

- Of course, as a child we have no real concept of race. There is no difference between people when there's a difference in color. He has no way of knowing that he has a blended family by him being black in a white family. One day he was sitting in my lap and we were tracing our hands on paper.
T: (struggling to keep the pen close to my fingers as he traced around them) "I have dark skin" (he said proudly)
(he frowned at my hand on the paper) "You have white skin"
M: (I was a little at a loss for what to say since he's never noticed the difference before. He was looking at me like something had to be wrong for us to be different colors) "Yes, your dark and I'm white. It's just the color of our skin. People have all different colors of skin." (whew, that was fairly well put)
T: (his face lit up like a light bulb) "So there's green skin!"
M: "oh no Tristan, not every color is a skin color"
He was thoroughly disappointed and upset that there were no orange and green people. Afterall, those are his favorite colors!

- While Tristan is so young and is around girls most of the time, we struggle at the office to keep Tristan "man-ly". It took us a week to convince him that orange was a better favorite color than pink. I had painted my nails, and Tristan was admirering the dark red color.
T: "What's that?" (pointing to my colored nails)
M: "I painted my nails. Do you like them?"
T: "YES, can I paint my nails?!?"
M: (opps, this is not good) "ummm... no, your a boy."
T: "I'm a booooyyyyyy, so I can't paint my nails? Why, not?"
M: "Well... See, girls paint there nails for boys.... and boys (struggling to think of something) cut their hair for girls!"
T: (he examines my face as he thinks about this)
M: "remember, you're hair is short cause you just cut it awhile back."
T: (He tries to run his fingers through my long hair) "yeah, I did...... So I can't paint my nails, but I can cut my hair?"
M: "Yep! And I can paint my nails, but I let my hair grow out long."

So don't forget to paint your nails girls, and boys get your hair cut for the girls!

Yes, No, Maybe So

NO... NO... YES... I'm not sure... Only if it's cheap... AHHHH!!!

While I hate to admit it, I'm the youngest child and sometimes I act like it! I'm at a point in my life when a lot of decisions have to be made. I want to go about it in a baby-like fashion kicking and screaming and fusing all the way. There is graduation, wedding, and the rest of life looming over my head. I have an unending list of decisions to make... and I'm not a decision making type of girl.

in my brain at the moment:
- should I get a new cap and gown
- I need to ask my advisor to check if I'm clear to graduate
- those two tests this week are going to be killers
- did mom order enough grad. invitations
- I'm soooo behind on wedding planning
- where is all the money going
- did my dress go up into flames at more'le
- did I make the right bridesmaid decisions
- how do I get the cheapest/best cake
- am I the only one the likes my photographer
- is kevin going to be able to get the honeymoon worked out
- is my ring paid for
- what do I know about a good DJ, why do I have to decide
- the paper's announcement needs to come out soon
- hope the table and chairs I bought are a good investment
- when am I going to learn to cook
- do I choose a bridesmaid dress that I've never seen in person
- how long will it take people to realize that I have no ideas/options/plans for a job that I need to be starting in 1/2 a year...

I have come to realize 3 things:
1) I'm so ready to graduate even though I will miss college, and I am terrified of what I will do next. I don't care about tests, GPA, or being active in organizations. I care about seeing Kevin as much as possible, cherishing the time I have left with my friends here, and partying till the very end.
2) I want to see the suicide rate for brides-to-be. Planning your wedding is not this fairy tale that the world makes it out to be. Look at any bride-to-be and you'll see someone who is tired, overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted at making decisions, and would rather just elope in Las Vegas. (Dad, I'm sure they would let you walk me down the isle instead of Elvis)
3) Instead of facing my problem of needing to find a real job, I'm shrinking away from it. I don't want to find out that: it's not something I love, that I need a masters, that I'll have to commute about an hour, I don't remember the skills they need me to have mastered, or that I just suck...

So excuse me world while I revert back to my childhood state. I'm going to go to my room, be stubborn, cry a little, and wait to come out till I'm ready to get over my hissy-fit.

~Count Your Blessings~

= = = The gifts have been opened, the drinks have been toasted and we are already into the new year, but a very important thing happened right before all the festivities. A dear loved one of mine shook the way I saw my life. I won't go into details for privacy sake, but the event was out of the ordinary and frightening at times. As I sat in an empty Arby's at some odd hour of the night in the middle of finals with Stacie, we discussed how are lives really weren't made of what we thought they were. Our finals were a joke, the Christmas shopping seemed so material, and my astonishing lack of money wasn't plaguing my mind. All I could think of was laughing with Elizabeth a few nights before as we sat on her bed and watched t.v. That's what matters in my life.

* * * * It reminded me of a homily that I heard from Fr. Malcom just a week before. He told us to love the people around us, and let them really know that we do! He said to see your Christmas gifts not as the presents under the tree, but as the blessings in your life. So it was time to count my blessings... And I truly am blessed. I work in a rather odd office, with people that listen to all my stories and make me laugh until I cry. I do complain about it a lot, but it's really fun to come to work and the actual "work" is something I really am good at. I have a core group of girlfriends that are my rock. They love me unconditionally and take care of my when I can't take care of myself! I can't count the number of conversations we've had sitting on one of our beds or around the kitchen table. Sometimes serious, sometimes just giving information to catch up on busy lives, but always ending in laughter and joy. I've come from an amazing family. They are perfect for me in every way. My dad is my first love and always a man I will look up to. My mom is my teacher of life. She gives the best advice. My brother is so loving. You can always come to him for an understanding hug. My sister-in-law is more like a real sister now a days. My older sis is just what you would want in an older sis! And my cat is my favorite pet ever. plus.. my fish are really cool. I also have a loving, supportive, funny, goofy, romantic, charismatic, charming, handsome, amazing fiance. There is no one else I wouldn't want by my side for the rest of my life. I live in a great town, I go to a great school, I belong to a great religion, and I'm surrounded by cool people! Life becomes difficult, but if you just see it as a blessing, you can find more good in it than bad. At the end of the year, I found that I got more than enough blessings... And there are still more I haven't counted!

. . . Here's to a blessed new year . . .