True Devotion

The first few moments when Clare was born were filled with anxiety, joy, and excitement. When they laid her on my stomach, I saw the beautiful life that would become my whole world. I wouldn't necessarily call it love at first sight, but a deep and heavy emotion took over body. The gravity and sincerity of what it means to be a mother filled me. From that moment on I became 100% devoted to Clare.


I would do anything for her. I remember one night when she was screaming in my arms and tears were streaming down my face, I whispered over and over in her ear, "I will always love you. I will always take care of you." Those words will always be true.


There is no mountain too high or river too deep. I will kiss her face and hold down her arm as the nurse has to draw blood from her month old arm. I will feed her from my own body to give her the nourishment she needs. I will talk in a ridiculously high pitched baby voice to get her to smile. I will rock her in my arms when she is screaming for hours. I will wake up every 2 hours for weeks till she can sleep longer on her own. I will sneak into her room when she is peacefully sleeping, just to make sure everything is alright. I will proudly wear the shirt that she just decided to spit-up on. I will read every self-help book made to make sure she is happy and healthy. I will fall in love with every little part of her body.


Clare depends on me for everything, and I take that job seriously. Being her Mom has been some of the most challenging times and at the same time the most rewarding. From the moment I found out I was pregnant I became her mom, and I will always have a devotion to her that cannot be broken. My bond to her will last a lifetime.


For everyone out there who reads this, I hope you take a moment to thank your own mom. There is no one in the world who loves you like she does. I have never loved or appreciated my own mom as much as I do now. Thank you for being devoted to me, Mom!

Momma Morris

*squeak* *grunt* *ugh* *whah* *oiyeee* The new sounds of my everyday life. Beside me squirms my new little girl, Clare Noelle Morris. It is quite surreal to think that a little over six weeks ago, she was just a bump in my stomach that I carried around everyday. Those were the easy days. My life has completely changed since then and will never be the same.

I have a new job now. The title of Mom is a 24 hours, 7 days a week position with no holiday's or sick leave. I'm available for a 10 am diaper change, 3 pm rocking chair routine, 9 pm booger sucking, and 2 am feeding frenzy. Everyday is a casual Friday, and some days showers are optional. There was no training before I took the position, so it has naturally had some tough moments.

Though I feel more and more like I am starting to get the hang of having a child, I am still constantly flipping Clare over to look for an owners manual. There is just so much involved in raising a child, and I'm doing most of it by guessing. I have a new found respect for parents all over the world.

Clare is the love of my life. She came out looking just like Kevin, but with a head full of curly hair like me. She changes every week and hits new milestones all the time. My favorite is that she's starting to smile. You can see the concentration on her face as she stares at my smile and works her check muscles to try and imitate it.

I would not be able to handle all the changes if it weren't for my loving and supportive husband. Kevin has lifted me up when I get so blue that I can't see any hope. He has whisked Clare away when she's been crying in my arms for an entire day. He has cooked and cleaned to help take care of the house. And has even woken up with me on some night shifts to help change a diaper.

I still feel as though I'm running on half a tank of gas and half a brain, but Clare is worth every moment. My life will never be the same, and I'm grateful for that!

Am I Ready For This?

I went to the doctor today for my 37 week check up. Thinking that I have been having a lot of braxton hicks contractions lately, I was hoping she would say I was 1 cm dilated for all the uncomfortable pain I've gone through... In actuality, she said I was 3-4 cm already. I wish someone could have had a camera to record the lo0k of shock on my face. I think I turned to see Kevin grinning from ear to ear. The doctor predicted that I have Clare on Thanksgiving, and that if I still hadn't started active labor by next Monday, she would be shocked. She said that once my body gets to 4 cm, the contractions will be a whole lot more painful and that I will know when to come into the hospital, but for now it's just a waiting game.

Right now I'm full of a thousand emotions... excited, nervous, happy, and mostly scared. Giving birth is no easy task and it will definitely be an event I remember for the rest of my life. Physically the house is ready for her to come, but I'm not sure how ready my mind is for her to be here. I was still thinking we had 3 weeks to go! I hope Kevin and I are ready for little Clare, and I hope she is ready for us. Our lives are about to change forever.

All prayers are gladly accepted and needed!