12 Christmas Joy's

My 12 Joy's of Christmas 2010

12. We have a real Christmas tree that lights up the house.

11. For the time being, our dogs are not trying to escape for the 65th time.

10. I pre-bought myself a $25 mani-pedi for Christmas! What a deal.

9. We went Christmas caroling around a friend's neighborhood! (a family tradition)

8. Clare love's my family's Anise Cookies, though most people hate them!

7. I made a gingerbread house with two 2 year olds, and no one ended up crying or fighting!

6. My sister is about to give birth to her first child any day now. (Come on, Anthony!)

5. Clare can sing the little drummer boy song with her own twist (what a pum pum)

4. I was able to take a "whole family" picture for our Christmas card this year (see above)

3. My Mother in law, Father in law, and Sister in law are all coming to our house for New Years to celebrate!

2. We are headed to Panhandle for Christmas, and I haven't gotten to celebrate there for 6 years

1. We are in our beautiful new house, full of joy and love!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Clare!

Happy Birthday, my baby girl! You are two years old now, and grow more and more each day. Here are some of your highlights:



You finally started walking. It took you a long time, but we knew you had to do things your way.



Kisses and Hugs. You love them so much and request them on an hourly basis.



My little helper. From pushing the laundry basket, to loading the grocery cart, to 'helping' me cook, you've really stepped up around the house.



Singing Girl. From "Winnie the Pooh" to "Little Drummer boy", we can hear your little voice singing short little lyrics all over the house. Pa rum pa pum pum..... Pa rum pa pum pum....



Bookworm. As always, you are still obsessed with books. If I could read to you every second of the day, you would gladly sit and listen. You've even surprised us with the level of books you'll listen to. The Bernstein Bear books are long and wordy, but you insist we not skip a single page.


Summer Pool fun. This year you had your first swim lesson and membership to the splash pool. We spent hours this summer learning how to kick and slid down the kiddy slides.

You grow and learn every day, but it's nice for you to still request to be "held like a baby" every once a while. Love you, munchkin!

Things to tell myself next time I want to Paint

5. Neon green is not that abrasive to the eyes. You'll get used to it.

4. Just because you notice those scuff marks every day doesn't mean they are noticeable.

3. Paint colors always look better on the swatch than all over the wall.

2. You've ruined 3 perfectly good shirts by painting in them. Don't you think that's enough tragedy?

1. You don't really hate yourself enough to go through this again, do you?

My Roommates

Life throws you some unexpected turns sometimes. I know that when I got married 4 years ago, I never imagined there would be a day I would move back in with my parents. But lo and behold, here we are in week 7 of our stay. I can't tell you how wonderful it has been to have their help and support, so I will let these photos do the talking for me.

Life in Transition

I'm sore, exhausted, missing my own bed, and half way through our moving bonanza! Months ago, Kevin accepted a job with the city of Lubbock, and I don't think we knew how insanely stressful and crazy it would be to make this change.

Georgetown Home: After completing a 6 page to-do list to get our house ready to be on the market, we had high hopes for selling the house fast. Day after day, I had to keep the house in pristine condition in case of a showing. Our fears turned into pure stress when after over a month on the market and dropping the price to rock bottom, we still had no showings and it was time to move to Lubbock. Soon after moving, we had one showing. They made us an offer, and we are under contract! If everything goes smoothly, we'll close sometime after Nov. 5. God is good, because we only needed one person to want the house, and that's exactly all we got.

Parent's Home: Thank goodness for the generosity of my parents. In a tornado of craziness, Kevin, I, Clare, our cat, and our two dogs swept into my parents quiet home. The backyard has new holes everywhere and the sweet aroma of poop, kids toys litter every inch of the living room, and their company better find a new place to stay because we take up all the extra rooms. We have been lucky enough to get around the clock babysitting, if needed, and I only cook every other night! We have been here over 5 weeks, and it has been a great experiance so far.

New Lubbock Home: Once again, God is good. Kevin and I found a 4 bedroom house in our price range that really should be out of our league. It stood out so high above the rest, that my Mom knew it was the one before even stepping foot in it. Let me list some of the perks: high vaulted ceilings in every room, real plantation shutters, covered patio in front and back, skylight in guest bathroom, living room fireplace, tile instead of linoleum, nice carpet, separate tub/shower in master, tub has jacuzzi jets, huge master closet with built in shelves, partially floored attic, sprinkler systems, new roof, and updated appliances including a new "whisper quiet" dishwasher. It was almost too good to be true! Our expectations weren't very high when we started. You should have seen the odd look on the relator's face when I would check if the house had a door bell and a mail box in the front! (Our old house didn't have these features, b.t.w.) We are under contract and are set to close around Nov. 19th. We'll have to do some painting, so we might not get to move in till after Thanksgiving. I can't wait to sleep in my own bed again!

Highlights... (not the blonde kind)

So much is happening in the Morris' household right now, but not enough to dedicate a post to each point. So here's a simple (a.k.a. lazy) list of what's happening here:

1. Kevin's starts his new job with the city of Lubbock next Monday. We get a week off to try and settle down.

2. Our house has been on the market for over a month without a single showing. So dissappointing....

3. We move in with my parents this weekend. Toddler, cat, two oversized dogs, and Kevin and I. It should be interesting

4. Clare has learned "NO, NO, NO" and "Mine"... Welcome to the terrible two's!

5. William's would-be due date was this Tuesday. It was a rough week of thinking what might have been.

6. I've gotten Clare a duck costume for Halloween. Early for getting costumes, but thinking of her in a yellow padded suit made my day.

Quite a roller caoster of a life.

Moving Mayhem

Clare's down for a nap, and there's nothing I would rather do right now than hide under my covers for some much needed silence. Unfortunately, there's a handyman in my living room, and people generally frown on letting strangers have full range of your house. The reason for the handyman is that the Morris' clan is selling our house and moving to Lubbock!

While we love Georgetown, we have always said that we wanted to be closer to family. With Albuquerque being a $1000 plane ride and Lubbock a 6 hour car ride, it's getting harder and harder to stay close to everyone as our family grows. A job opportunity opened up for Kevin with the City of Lubbock, and he got the job. It's a pretty big pay cut, but we're willing to pinch the pennies to make this work. This job will definitely be more stable and 8-5ish than working on the consulting side of the business like he has been.

Our house goes on the market this week, and we need all the prayers we can get. After completing a 6 PAGE TO DO LIST from our realtor, we will still need quite a bit of luck selling the house. The market is just flooded with houses for sale and no one buying.

We've dusted, cleaned, painted, mowed, boxed, washed, patched, and planted our house into tip top shape. I'm really impressed we were able to finish it all in just over a week. The stress has been (and will continue to be) over the top.

We don't know when we will officially be leaving, but Kevin's new job starts at the end of September. We don't know if we will be able to properly say goodbye to all the friends we've made here in the Austin area over the past 4 years, but we hope you know how much we love you and will miss you. Thank you for being our family away from family.

Mr. Nielsen, You are Welcome!

USA, you can thank me for imputing my pristine t.v. viewing preferences to the Nielsen ratings guide. I didn't think anything would happen when we filled out the questionnaire that came in the mail. Kevin and I were just over the moon that they gave us $2 to fill it out. (We're simple people) But lo and behold, a few weeks later we were mailed a t.v. diary with $30 for our trouble. Needless to say with such a large amount of dough, we still haven't decided what splurge to use it on. I'm dreaming of a pedicure...

Writing out a T.V. diary would seem like a simple test, but it was a lot more involved than I thought. I would rather right down every calorie I've eaten than note what show was on, what channel, what call letters, for how long, and who was watching. I'll be completely honest here (hopefully Mr. Nielsen isn't reading) but I wrote we watched nothing on Sunday because I couldn't remember what boring program we vegged out to. Luckily my lazy nature got a free ride, and we were out of town for 3 of the days in the survey! I just had to scribble "not viewing" over all those days.

I will apologize to America that our boring, sometimes embarrassing, T.V. habits might mold your future show schedules. Ellen and All My Children will see a ratings boost, since I literally watch them every day. I even had to admit that I spent a whole hour watching a documentary on synchronized swimming on PBS. The real shame is that we got this diary in the summer, when all the crappy reruns stop us from watching our real loves. Because of the timing, Bachelorette and Wipeout had to be recorded instead of Modern Family, LOST, and 30 Rock. Not that I don't enjoy Bachelorette (please pick the hot Latino, Ricardo, Alli) and Wipeout (the sweeper arms make me tense), I just feel other shows could have been highlighted.

Let's hope there is some sort of mailing error, and they ask me to do it again in a month. Think of what I could do with another $30!

He works hard for the money...

Upon buying our first home 3 years ago, Kevin and I quickly learned an import thing about ourselves. We don't know how to fix anything. But we also quickly learned that my Dad knows how to fix anything! I swear he is a genius wrapped in button-up shirts and black slacks.

Every time my parents come to visit, I make up a huge list of fix-up and upgrade projects. Some might see this as a task master torturing her poor retired Father, but really he enjoys it. I swear! I once made the tragic mistake of not making out a list, and the poor man paced around my house looking for things to do.

He is a work horse. He has spent more time in my attic than the original contractors that built my house. Every visit must include 2 trips to Home Depot, or something is seriously off. I think he even knows our tool shelf better than Kevin. Here's a short list of the work he's done:

Installed 2 fans
Installed an Air Vent in Bathroom
Installed 3 Dimmer Switches
Painted Clare's Room
Installed a Bathroom Fixture
Changed Lawn Mower Oil
Installed Electric Fence
Baby Proof all the Cabinets
Fix Fence
Add Knobs to Kitchen & Bathroom Doors

We would be lost without him, and are so lucky we haven't officially broken his back yet. I'm hoping to get a tiled back splash installed before he hits 70 in 2 years!

Happy Birthday to Me

This Tuesday was my 26th Birthday! This is kind of an akward age for birthdays. You rarely have a huge group of close college friends around, you normally live far from family, and birthday parties as an adult are just not like when you were a kid. All that being said, Kevin and I try to make the other person birthday still memorable.

My day started with Kevin being late to work and getting the first morning diaper. That doesn't sound like much, but every millisecond I get to spend still in bed is heaven to me. I was greeted by a smiling pancake and a "26" sausage.

I also had these beautiful gladiloas to look at. We found out earlier in the week that my great grandmother used to grow them, and now my grandma Looten does too.

The day went well with Clare and I lounging at the splash pool and shopping in the afternoon. When Kevin got home, I was told to go outside to see my birthday present. I got a beautiful blue bird bath! I've always wanted a bird bath. Now, I'm all set up with bird feeders and a bath to attract some beauties to the yard.

The night ended with a delicious dinner at the Monument Cafe with one of my Mom's Club friends, Sheila. Like most adult parties, there was only two of us because everyone else couldn't get away to join us. I had the same problem as a kid, because everyone would still be on vacation from the 4th usually.

All the facebook messages were great to see, and it just reminds me how many wonderful people are in my life. I am a lucky and blessed 26 year old woman!

Ode to Rosa's

Oh, my delicious Rosa's

My love for you is unending.

But, alas, you are no where to be found in Austin.

Please, my love, open a franchise here!





I must admit your garish Pink and Teal colors

make me think of a bad 80's "Miami Vice" show.

But when I see that glowing neon sign down the road,

I know I am but a few minutes from delight.





Your tortillas melt like butter on my tongue.

I can devour you enchiladas like a raging lion.

Your nacho go immediately from my mouth to my thigh fat.

And you queso is like liquid gold.

Your thick styrafoam cups maybe killing the planet,

But they keep my drink nice and cold.





In this foreign land, all the people know is Taco Cabana.

Their consistently stale chips are no match to your superiority.

We are trapped with this mediocrity

And long for people to talk of "Taco Tuesdays".

Oh my dear Rosa's

even though it has been many a year without you

my love for you lives on.

Till we meet again along the road,

I wish you all the love my taste buds can give.

Clare the Toddler

A few days ago was Clare's 18 month birthday, and a few weeks ago she finally started walking. I think I can finally consider her a real toddler. Here is the Clare as we know her now.

1. dictator - My girl is bossy. It's her way or the highway, and she's not afraid to be vocal. Even though all she does is babble, she will still point her finger, scowl her brow, and baby babble yell at any kids she sees not acting as she would have them do. I've seen it on many an occasion. My mom says that if she ever does join the convent, she will settle for nothing less than being the mother superior.

2. Party tricks - She is an excellent performer. We have trained her to do 'guns up', imitate animals, cross her puddgy little fingers, blow kisses, and much much more. Almost every night Kevin throws her in the air, flips her in her arms, and even does this cheerleader one handed, above head hold with her.

3. Snuggle buddy - I am not a morning person and luckily Clare doesn't show signs of it either. Every morning, I get her out of bed, change her diaper, give her a cup of milk and bowl of dry cereal, and then I proceed to lie curled up on the floor for at least an hour. After exploring her toys, Clare inevitably crawls next to my lifeless body, snuggles up close, and sucks her thumb. The stillness only last in short bursts, but I cherish every moment of our snuggle sessions.

4. Good listener - I've had to watch what I expose her to, because she's more aware of what I thought was just background noise to her. The other day while driving around, Lady Gaga's new song, Alejandro, was on. In one of the lines of the song she says the words "dad", and from my back seat I hear Clare squeal "Da-Da". I promptly switched the station to a Christan radio. Heaven for bid, my baby learn about "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" from Ms. Gaga.

5. Poo-Poo Talk - While she knows mama, dada, and many animal noises, nothing gets her more animated than poo-poo. She farts, and she excitedly yells 'poo-poo'. You mention that you need to go poo-poo, and she'll grab her diaper and say it too. You tell her you need to check her diaper, and she will claim it's poo-poo even when it is not. Poo-Poo is exciting stuff in our house.

6. Elmo Who? - I have yet to really introduce her to the wonderful world of kid's t.v. She just thinks Elmo is some red creature on her diapers. But that doesn't mean she doesn't still watch some t.v. As for my two guilty pleasures, she is a big All My Children and Oprah fan, though the commercials are the most interesting parts to her. Other than that, we try to keep the t.v. off.

7. Flirt - Ever since she was a baby, Clare has had some major male crushes. When she sets her eyes on a guy she likes, you can immediately tell. She slips on this shy smile, tilts her head to the side, lowers her head, and makes her eyes all googly and cute. She generally likes either guys that look like GQ models or tall african american men. And age doesn't seem to bother her either. Her two most disturbing crushes are her uncles; Matt and David.

8. Terror on 4 wheels - She maybe be an extremely shaky walker, but get that girl on her mini car and see her fly. I've seen her pull a U-turn, in reverse, one hand holding her sippy cup, and all in just a few feet's space. I think she'll turn into a better driver than me, although that's not saying much.

9. Mae Hater - Though her love for our cat was what first inspired Clare to crawl, all of that has now twisted into some sort of jealous hate. I've seen her purposefully step on Mae while she was sleeping, yank her tail till gobs of hair comes out, and I'm pretty sure today she dropped her sippy cup out of her high chair when she knew Mae was underneath. Good thing this cat has 9 lives. She's going to need every one.

10. Good kisser - Clare's favorite new trick is to kiss me. Sometimes they are sweet little pecks, sometimes they are open mouth, tongue sticking out, licks, but all of them are always adorable.

Pottery Class

Starting in middle school and all the way through high school, I took pottery classes in a little studio in Lubbock. I loved it, but college proved enough of a distraction for me to quit. Now Kevin gave me my second chance. Feeling a little lost between being a wife and mom, he suggested I start up a class again to get some "me time". It was the perfect solution. Here are a few of my pieces that I'm most proud of.

This is a cute little set. The mugs are large enough to be soup/chili bowls.

These are my new serving bowls! Please note the cool melted

blue glass at the bottom of one of the bowls.

This is Clare's Berry Bowl. (It has drainage holes like a colander).

We go through a batch of strawberries a week in this house.

Our new desk set (pen holder and coaster).
Once again, amazing melted glass on the coaster.

Thanks, Kevin, for making me sign up for the class. I loved it!

Saying Goodbye To William

There are two things I knew about this pregnancy all along; 1) my baby was a boy and 2) he would come early. Of course, I had no idea that my second prediction would be fatally right. It all happened too fast and too soon. One minute you’re worrying about how you are going to stuff 2 kids and 2 adults into a small room over Thanksgiving this year, and the next you realize that all of that means nothing anymore.

At almost 20 weeks, I was a normal, no risk pregnancy. We had just had a rough day of having to say goodbye to Kevin's parents and grandparents who were visiting. I hadn't felt right all weekend, but chalked it up to the massive amount of fat I was digesting through good food and fun. Almost in a premonition, I made Kevin stay in the bathroom that night while I took a hot bath. I didn't want to be alone. That's when our whole ignorant "of course everything is fine" thoughts were ripped away as my water broke getting out of the tub. As panic seeped into our veins and the realization of what was happening hit us, we rushed to the ER leaving Clare behind with some neighbors.

I think when most people think of losing a baby, they think it's a fast process that is all of a sudden over, but the reality can be much worse. Nothing ever happens fast in a hospital. Hours will creep by and a day later you could be released. We didn't know what to think when we got there, but my heart sunk to a new low when they decided to take the heart monitor off the quick heartbeat of my baby echoing through the speakers. They gave me a sleeping pill and told me to try and get some sleep, but that seemed like the last thing I would be able to do. A blessing came in the form of our priest Fr. Will coming to my side. I always thought our first conversation would be over our Texas Tech/A&M rivalry, but we decided we could save that for another time. We talked for a long time, and I was finally able to get my mind to stop swirling with thoughts. After my blessing, I felt calm enough to finally fall asleep.

The next day, our options were laid before us. My body had not started contractions, the baby was still alive, and I hadn't contracted an infection yet. We could induce now, or hold onto a 10% that my body would heal up and regain some of the lost fluid. Even if that happened we still had bleak chances of making it to full term. We decided to hold onto hope, be cautiously optimistic and head back home to our beautiful Clare. The waiting game was mentally draining. Kevin and I would swing from optimism to pessimism in a span of hours. Every baby kick I felt was bittersweet. On one hand, it meant the baby was still alive, but on the other you couldn't help but wonder if that was the last one I'd feel.

At almost 48 hours past my water breaking, we were about to congratulate our selves on making it 2 days when fever and pain hit my body like a ton of bricks. We went back to the hospital, and I was put on antibiotics for an infection. My doctor was still optimistic that after my IV treatment, the infection would clear and we could go home again. But soon after she left, my contractions started and we knew our baby’s fate had been sealed.

I have never gone through true labor pains before, having epidurals as my best friend, but for whatever reason, I was only given a shot to take the edge off the pain. The exhaustion, fever, pain from my IV treatment, and contractions seemed to blend perfectly into the emotional pain of trying to figure out how to say hello and goodbye to your child at the same time. When it came time to push, my wonderful charge nurse talked me out of getting an epidural and just opted for some IV drugs. It all happened so fast, that it wasn't even needed at that point.

I couldn't help but to flash back to when I started to push when I had Clare. The cheers and excitement from the nurses, family, and doctor were absent in my now dim and quiet hospital room. I couldn't even remember the proper breathing techniques to use and relied on Kevin's voice to get me through the waves. We were quickly told it was a boy, but in our hearts we already knew that.

Honestly, I wasn't sure if I would be able to look at my son. I didn't know how 'human like' a 20 week old baby would be. I was completely blown away with how beautiful he was. Not scary at all, but 100% precious. He was another mini-Kevin from the button nose to the long torso to the thick neck. Kevin must have the most dominant genes in the world. The one trait of mine that we could tell that snuck in was my crooked pinkies. They were the most beautiful site I've ever seen. We were given plenty of time to talk to him, hold him, take pictures with him, and just lay down with him, whispering his name and singing him lullabies. We got to watch his little heart pump under his skin for a few minutes before it lay still.

We decided to name him William Joshua Morris. The first name William comes from Fr. Will and God's Will. Without Fr. Will coming to comfort me that first night and answer all our questions, I don't know how I would have ever been able to sleep. And William is also part of God's Will. There is a beautiful verse that kept coming to me through all of this. "For your thoughts are not my thoughts, nor your ways my ways, say the Lord." While I will never know the reasons why we couldn't keep William, I have faith that there is greater good to come for William, Kevin, and me. The middle name Joshua came from my mother. After many years of pain from having an abortion, she was finally able to find some peace and name her lost son Joshua. While her Joshua and my William never made into this world, both of their lives matter and has made a huge difference to us.

The funeral was on a cool, cloudy morning. It was only appropriate that the strong warm rays of the sun were blocked out by thick grey clouds. Kevin and I got there early to pick a bouquet of wild flowers to lie on his grave. As cars kept pulling in, we were surprised to see how many people came to be with us. We often think of how alone we are out in Georgetown, so far from our families, but we now realize that we have always been surrounded by friends that support us whenever we need them. The service was simple and beautiful.

Thank you to everyone for your love, support, and prayers for our family in this difficult time. We have moments when we feel at peace and moments when it’s hard to see the point of getting out of bed. I just keep praying to God that he love, snuggle, and play with my baby William, because that is thing I wish more than anything that I could get to do.

You are our child, you are our William.
You are God’s child, you are His William.
You are God’s Will.

Dave Ramsey - Love Em' Hate Em'

Over 2 years ago, Kevin and I were living a completely different life. We were what we fondly call 'Dinks'. That's 'dual income, no kids' for those who have never heard the term. We lived on a loose budget, but knew that it was time to get serious about our finances. The more you look into your finances, the more you realize how badly we all spend our money. We discussed, researched, and came to the conclusion that Dave Ramsey would be our main man. If you don't know who he is (then you must live under a rock) then you should look up his website at http://www.daveramsey.com. Dave's ideas are not always the popular ones and to live on his plan is a hard way. His motto is "if you live like no one else, later you can live like no one else". The basics are no credit cards, live only on basics and within your means, and no debt.

(1) Start a $1000 savings fund and get on a budget. We'll neither of us had credit cards to give up, and we already had a good savings fund started. We've always lived on a budget, so the first step was no step at all.

(2) Pay off ALL debt. For us, we were once again very blessed on this step. No credit cards, equaled no credit card debit. First we finished off Kevin's student loans, then his Ford Explorer, last and most painful was my Impala. Life took a swing of events, and we found out we were pregnant with Clare. We realized our 'dink' lifestyle was coming to an end quickly. Every month we trimmed the budget more. $200 here a $100 there. No more cable t.v., no more expensive home improvements, no more home phone line, less new clothes, and way less eating out. We were determined to get on a one income budget and pay off our last debt before Clare was born. Just two short months before she rocked our world, I signed the check on our last car payment. Like all the excited callers on Dave's radio show, we were able to yell out, "WE'RE DEBT FREE"!!!

(3) Save up an Emergency fund of 3 to 6 months savings. Now I have never met anyone who started on Dave's plan who have actually gotten past this step, so I knew it would be a hard one. Here was our fledgling family, who once lived high on the hog with two incomes, now down to only one. Kevin had been laid off for a few months when I was pregnant with Clare, so we know how important this emergency fund is, especially now that he is the only bread winner. We agreed to err on the side of caution and not stop saving till we hit our 6 month mark. Months seem to crawl by when your at the beginning of a new step. $200 here and there make it hard to hit a 5 digit number. I'm proud to announce, that with the help of our tax refund, we have finally hit our savings goal last month! I never thought I would ever see a number that big in our banking account. At this point, it is hard not to get swept up with "Joneses" and see that money as a new vacuum, weed eater, or even a van. All those things are things we want, but do not qualify in Dave's plan as a emergency. That little nest egg is there to stay and not be touched. We pray to God that Kevin doesn't get laid off so unexpectedly ever again, but we can sleep well at night knowing we will survive 6 months of job searching if it comes to it.

(4) Invest 15% of your Gross Income into a Roth IRA. I don't know why I was naive enough to think that at this point in Dave's plan, things would get easier and not harder. Just last night, Kevin and I researched what it will take to start our own Roth IRA. With an already too tight budget, we have to shave more money out of it to put into our retirement. I tried to think that Dave's plan was too ambitious, so I researched on our Bank of America Retirement planner to see their numbers. Much to my sadness, they were the same. I hate getting a reality check when it comes to money. I much prefer to live in the la-la-land that Kevin's 6% 401(k) will see us to our golden years. The reality is that today out of 100 people age 65, 97 of them can't write a check for $600, 54 of them are still working, and only 3 are financially secure.

The next steps are:
(5) College funding for Children
(6) Pay off home early
(7) Build wealth and give like never before

I make no promises to myself that I'll ever finish step 6, but I do know my reality for now. No cable t.v., no expensive groceries, no more fancy cruises (that was not part of Dave's plan b.t.w.), and no big van till we save up and are able to pay for it all in cash! In the mean time, we try to focus on what we have instead of what we want. I have a wonderful small house, great husband, lovely child, fridge full of food, bank account full of money, car full of gas, and no worries about our future. We can't live high on the hog right now, but that doesn't mean we don't live high on life.

Cruisin' for a Bruisin'

Okay, so this post has nothing to do with beating someone up, but all about Kevin and my cruise! Kevin and I were blessed enough to scrape enough cash together to go on a vacation. Add on that I was in my 2nd trimester of pregnancy (the only good time to travel) and my retired parents offered to come up to babysit Clare for a week, It was the perfect timing. I don't do any kind of fun vacations if there is not sun, tropical feelings, and more sun, so Kevin booked us on the Carnival Ecstasy out of the Galveston Port.

Our tropical paradise awaited us as we drove 4 hours in solid rain to get to the port. We then waited in line for about 2 hours to actually get on the ship. I couldn't help but laugh at all the signs warning you not to take pictures or video of the 3,000 people stuffed in a dock trying to get on a ship to start their vacation. I guess they don't like people to see the ugly side of cruising, but soon we were on our boat and out to sea.

I really loved our cabin. It was not too small, and had the perk of a king size bed. We have a queen at home, and it was amazing to flop around like a fish on land all night without slapping Kevin in the face. The ship it self was impressive, but let's be honest here. To cram thousands of people on one boat, means that you are going to be around groups of strangers all the time. Old people, kids, teens, models, over weight people, and (my personal favorite) frat boys using sleazy lines to try and have random hook-ups with the pretty girls. The pool was always over-run with kids and the deck chairs by brown-to-a-crisp women.

After a day at sea, we made our first stop in Progresso, Mexico. Being pregnant and a hater of all things requiring physical activity, We choose the "Corona Beach Party" for our shore excursion. This entailed a small stretch of beach, open bar, loud music, and more drunk college students than you have ever seen in your life. But hey, it was an open bar, and I would be right there with them if I could. Instead, Kevin and I left the party scene to stroll down the beach.

We shopped and ate some fabulous authentic Mexican food. Kevin enjoyed the free mini margaritas, and I wolfed down the tacos. Honestly, I found what looked like dog hairs in the beans, but I'm disgusting enough to just pick them out and continue eating. It was wonderful!

The next day (and the first really warm day of the cruise), we stopped at beautiful Cozumel, Mexico. Kevin and I loved it so much, that we wish we could have stayed longer. For this stop, we signed up for a full package with only one other family joining us. I guess not having an open bar kept the college crowd from signing up. We were assigned an amazing tour guide named David. We first stopped at a museum called Discover Mexico. It had videos, art displays, and miniature replicas of Mexico's history. I think we weirded out our guide by knowing most of the answers to his questions. We tried to explain that being Catholic and from New Mexico and Texas gave us a lot of exposure to the Hispanic culture.

Then we headed to Chankanaab Park. It was like Sea World for cool people. You could relax on the white sandy beach, swim with dolphins, manatee, or sting rays, take a picture hugging a seal or snorkel off the shore. We chose the snorkeling, and our guide David took us out to see the good spots. Being a little prone to anxiety attacks, I had some trouble calming my breathing as we bobbed in the waves, but enjoyed it all. The fish would literally swim through your finger tips and around your legs. And I didn't get nauseous like when we snorkeled in Hawaii. They had some buried religious statues that you were supposed to 'get a wish' granted if you touched them. The first was a tiny Virgin Mary that was swarmed by people, so we didn't try to get close to it. The next was a Jesus statue. As we swam near it, I was completely freaked out. This wasn't some tiny statue. It was larger than life and scary.

You can not tell me that this doesn't look like a starved, beaten up Jesus tied to a cement block and dumped in the ocean to die. I couldn't even get close to it, because it freaked me out so bad. Kevin, on the other hand, decided to dive down and touch it. While he did make it, he lost the breathing part of his snorkel mask in the process. Luckily we were almost done, so we floated back to the shore, ate, and then headed back to the ship.

All in all we loved Mexico, but got tired of spending 3 days on the ship and only 14 hours on land. I guess I'm just not a cruise person. What I was a fan of was 5 whole nights of sleeping and waking up without once hearing the sound of a baby crying. It's what I imagine heaven will be like! When we got back to our car, after spending 3 hours getting off the boat and customs, we were excited that we had a vacation with just the two of us, but at the same time couldn't wait to get back to our ClareBear. I will always cherish the good memories Kevin and I had together on this trip, because who knows when our next child-free adventure will come. For know I'm left with this calming mental picture.

 

Finding Love in Lent - Part 1

As Holy Week is upon us, I can’t help but think about how I spent Lent this year. Half-hearted, slacking, and detached. But honestly, that’s how I probably spend most of my Lenten seasons. They say to get something out of your faith; you must actually make the effort to put something into it. One year I did do that, and it was the most amazing Lenten season of my life. This is the story of Lent 2004. Beware, it’s a long story, but trust me, it is all worth it.

Here is the list of characters (Names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Me- A junior at Texas Tech University, and everything else about me you already know.

Ricardo – Just imagine a Hispanic George Clooney. Handsome, full of charm, suave, great with the ladies, but never has been seen pinned down to one girl. I fell for him the first time I saw him. We had known each other since our first year at Tech.

Jack – Mr. All-American, boy next door. He was popular, funny, on every leadership team, knew everyone’s name, upperclassman, was at every social event, and could get into a conversation with a blind/mute person if given enough time. I had also met him my first year, but Jack knew everyone, so that wasn’t unusual.

What was unusual with Jack was that we actually became friends. Back in the day, we young folks spent all our time instant messaging on AIM. We became love advisors to each other. He was trying to start a relationship with his friend, and I was working on a rocky relationship with my boyfriend at the time. Jack’s relationship ended in a blaze of glory before it even started and mine just got worse and worse. After being dumped twice by the same loser (I can call him that because he’s not on facebook to read this), I was out on the market again. Word apparently spread quickly. Just a few days later, one of Ricardo’s close friends asked me if I’d be interested in dating again if Ricardo asked. I think it took me a good five minutes to wipe the dumb founded look off my face. Are you kidding me? The guy I’ve had a crush on for years is thinking about asking me out! I tried to pull it together and casually say, “Sure, if he wants too.” I excitedly anticipated every run in with Ricardo after that, but nothing seemed to happen.

What did happen threw me for a loop. After Jack and my love advice failed miserably, we still kept talking regularly. He was a great friend, and the perfect person to talk to. Always so easy going and relaxed. Then it happened before I could realize what was going on. I was dropping him off at his apartment after a concert, when the relaxed, easy talking Jack flipped a major nervous switch and said in one hasty breath, “So I was wondering if sometime you might want to go out with me, I mean I don’t know how it would go, or if it would be any fun, but maybe it could be, and, I don’t know, if you’re interested, we should go out on a date.” It caught me so off guard, and I had never seen him act like this. I honestly can say, that while Jack and I were great friends, I never thought of us dating. In my dumbfound state, I said the thing I had just told another guy few days ago, but with completely different feeling. “Sure, if you want too.” Finally, relief poured over Jack’s face like he had just ripped off a band-aid. We said we’d talk later, and he left me in my car to try and pick up my jaw.

*** To continue on with the story, please find part 2 & 3 ***

Finding Love in Lent - Part 2

*** WARNING: This is part 2 of a 3 part story. If you haven't read part 1, you will be confused ***

Lent began the following week, and on Thursday I went to my adoration hour in the chapel at my church. My mind was buzzing with activity, and I tried to wrap my head around everything. I excitedly started to pray and tell God all the good news. First and foremost, Ricardo, my crush, was interested in me and wanted to ask me on a date. I also had Jack, my good friend, ask me out on a date too. How sweet was that; a free meal and movie from Jack, plus the chance to start a new relationship with Ricardo!

It was then for the first time in my life, I heard God speak to me. It wasn’t like hearing words in my ear, but feeling God speaking to my heart. I know it’s rare, and that most people don’t understand that, but here is what happened in conversation mode.

Me: Can you believe it? Two guys are interested in me.
God: This isn’t what I want.
Me: What? Don’t worry. Jack is just a friend. I don’t think anything will happen past a first date. You can’t turn down a free meal. Then hopefully Ricardo will ask me out soon after, and we can start dating. I’ve never got this much attention from guys before!
God: I know what you need to do for Lent this year.
Me: Sure! Give up cokes, pray extra at night, maybe skip a t.v. show. What is it God?
God: Give up dating for Lent.
Me: Pardon? I think I heard that wrong. I thought you said to give up dating for Lent.
God: I want you to give up dating for Lent for me this year.
Me: ……um, but I already told Jack I’d go out with him, and what about Ricardo?
God: This is my will for you. Trust me.

The funny thing about God is that he made us with a free will. That means even when we are sitting in an empty chapel feeling God speak directly to our heart, we still get to choose our actions. Someone once asked me how I knew that it was God’s idea and not my own; let me assure you, as a chronically single girl, I would never think to give up dating. I sat in the chapel silence for the rest of the hour trying to figure out what to do.

The next day, I made the most awkward phone call of my life. I called Jack to tell him that our date was called off by God. I’m sure any other person would have written me off for a loony, but Jack seemed to take it well. How can you argue with someone saying it’s God’s will? I told him, we’ll just have to wait till Lent is over. Luckily, our friendship was strong enough that we were still able to be in the same room without it being super awkward. The canceling of our first date before it even happened even became a joke between us and some friends.

As for Ricardo, things finally began to get interesting. We started hanging out more and more. I told him about the no dating during Lent, but we agreed that hanging out wasn’t anything against the rules. Casual video game sessions at my apartment, slowly evolved into late night adoration chapel visits praying side by side. As I would look at his back, while he knelt down before the Eucharist, I couldn’t help at smile at how perfectly things were going. Our ‘hanging out’ became more and more frequent, and my feelings for Ricardo grew stronger. We made plans that weekend to go out to dinner and a movie, and somehow rationalize it in my head as not a date. I was coming to a breaking point.

In utter frustration and angst, I went to the chapel that night by myself. I prayed to God in ALL CAPS. “Listen God. I know you don’t want me to date during Lent, but I can’t change how I feel for Ricardo. IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS FOR RICARDO, THEN YOU NEED TO SQUASH THIS LIKE A BUG, BECAUSE I LIKE HIM, AND THAT’S IT!”

There’s a funny thing about prayers. You should always be careful what you pray for.

*** To continue, please go to part 3. Don't worry, it's the last one ***

Finding Love in Lent - Part 3

*** WARNING: This is Part 3 of a 3 Part Blog. If you have not read part 1 & 2, you will be confused***

That Saturday is a day that still shines vividly in my mind. It was an unusually hot day, and our college CSA group was having a garage sale. I was having a great time hanging out with my friends, and Jack and I stayed late to help clean up the aftermath. It was 2 in the afternoon when Jack invited me to hang out at his apartment across the street. It was a big joke that, as being as popular as he was, everyone and their uncle had been to Jack’s apartment except me. I would joke with him that he didn’t want me over because he secretly had pictures of me hanging up in his room.

We crossed the old brick road and headed to his apartment. I got to meet his roommates, get a tour of the place, and hung out in his room. We just started talking, and once you got Jack and me talking it was about impossible to get us to stop. Minutes turned to hours, and before I knew it, it was already 5. As if by fate, Jack had to leave the room to go talk to one of his roommates. The second he shut the door, my cell phone began to ring. It was Ricardo! I didn’t want to hurt Jack’s feelings if he caught me talking to another guys about a ‘not really a date’ date plans, so I snuck into his bathroom to take the call. I was so excited to figure out where we were going to eat and what movie to watch. Ricardo’s voice sounded a little sheepish as I answered the phone. The conversation seemed to hit my ear drums in slow motion.

“Hey, Mary. Listen, about tonight. See, I accidentally made a mistake. I can’t hang out with you tonight. I forgot that I asked a girl to go to the drive-in tonight.” Ricardo said. Trying not to seem completely desperate, I mumbled, “A girl?” “Huh, what did you say? I didn’t hear you.” “Oh, um, nothing, that’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Click. I literally felt the emotions I had for Ricardo drain from my body. Ricardo had just thrown a cold glass of water in my face, and I could finally see what our relationship was. Nothing. Friends, yes, but nothing more, and we never would be. I braced myself for a Saturday night alone watching sappy chick flicks as I left the bathroom.

When I went into the room, Jack was smiling at me, blissfully unaware at what had just happened. I was about to try and excuse myself, not wanting to overstay my welcome when he invited me to eat a home cooked Italian meal made by his roommates girlfriend. Anyone who knows me knows that I will never turn down an opportunity to eat. While the conversations were great, the bacon-chicken-pasta dish was even better. (Loryn, if you happen to read this, please e-mail me the recipe before I drool on the keyboard).

As the night went on, I kept on waiting for a dull in the conversation or an awkward pause to finally take my leave, but it never came. Jack invited me to go buy a new stereo for his car, so we took the wind whipping drive in his topless Jeep to go shopping. Then came dessert. I should have known things were changing when I admitted that I didn’t really like ice cream, and Jack offered to just split his favorite strawberry shortcake that I’m sure he’d prefer to have all to himself. You don’t just admit your weird food dislikes or share your favorite food with just anyone. We headed back to his apartment with the idea of watching a movie. As we sat there on his bed talking more and more, we lost track of time and never even started the movie. Finally at midnight, I noticed the clock. I couldn’t believe time had flown so fast just talking! Jack pointed out that if I stayed 2 more hours, we would have spent a 12 hour day together. I was up for the challenge. The talk continued about faith, family, and our future goals. We seemed to agree on everything. By the last 30 minutes, Jack was struggling to keep his eyes open, and I finally felt that my eyes had been open for the first time. Jack wasn’t just some just nice guy that was good friend. He was a partner, a man of God, and a perfect guy for me. At 2 a.m., Jack walked me to my car and I spent the whole drive home thinking how completely God changed my life in just 24 hours after I had prayed to Him.

Easter came and went with no second date asked by Jack. Just when I thought I had blown it with him, he asked me out in the most spectacular way. It was a 100% different from the first time, but that’s a story for another time.

As most of you can guess, Jack is my husband, Kevin. We got married in 2006 under what I know was God’s blessing. While Ricardo should still remain anonymous, I’m happy to report that he has recently entered the Seminary to pursue the priesthood. I guess there was a reason he could never stick to a girl. God wanted him for Himself.

The moral of the story is to not be afraid of God and his will. Though through our human eyes what he asks of us can seem all wrong and not what we want for ourselves, we must have living faith that he knows what’s best for us in the end. I used to think a lot about what would have happened if I chose to do my own will instead of His. I would have brushed Kevin aside and ruined our friendship, only to start a relationship with a person that was doomed to fail and leave me broken hearted and alone in the end. While God’s path didn’t feel like the easy one, it was the best one for my life. I hope this Easter we can all embrace what God wants for us in our lives.

Weekend Warriors

After weeks of inactivity and Kevin working like a dog, we were blessed with a three day weekend. Being overachievers, we decided to make the most of it and pack it to gills. On Friday, we strapped up the canoe (a feat deserving of two standing ovations) and headed to Brushy Creek Park. It was beautiful and we basically had the creek to ourselves since it was a Friday afternoon.

Since I'm not supposed to be lifting heavy things (and I have no muscles to speak of) my trusty pack mule had to do most the carrying. I call him the 'canoe bug'. Then Kevin treated us to a lunch a Z Tejas. It's a very nice restaurant to go into after sweating on a lake for an hour, but no one seemed to mind.

Clare did amazing in the boat. Only a few bonks on the head from tipping over. The wind was way too strong for us to be out there for very long, but at least the experience answered the question that we do not want to go on the kayak adventure on our cruise. My arms were killing me the next day and we are there for relaxation!

Then on Saturday, we packed up a lunch, picked up some friends, and headed to the Zoo in Waco. It was perfect timing. We went early in the morning before the spring break crowds, timed the naps so they would all be in the car, and had a great time at the zoo. Don't know how much Clare actually saw, but we really went for Kevin and me! She did love the fish and would 'bark' at the large cats. Luckily for her, she doesn't seem to be allergic to orangutans like her father. (Trust me, I don't buy that line either, but he does seem to get sneezy every time we are in the orangutan exhibit. Very suspicious!)

 

 

Saturday night, we were lucky to have an old coworker of mine come over to babysit so that we could go celebrate a friends birthday. The night was great with food, poker, friends, and running into unexpected mutual acquaintances. We wished Chris a happy 30th, but it all seemed to end too soon.

Our plan was to completely pass out on Sunday and do nothing but go to church. Unfortunately the weed infested yard got to Kevin, and he ended up doing a lot of yard work instead. Luckily we were able to dust off the darts in our garage and get in a few games. We're ready for my parents, David and Liz to come into town this week for a match up!

This was truly an active and jam packed weekend for us. I don't think either of us have slept so hard in a long time. Now it's onto packing and cleaning for the cruise in 5 days. I'm going to try and enjoy Clare as much as I can right now, because I know I'm going to miss her dearly when we head out on Saturday.

Not My First Rodeo, but I Could Use an Intermission

Pregnancy number two is 10 weeks in, and while the symptoms are familiar and nothing new, it doesn't make them any more fun to go through. There are many women in the world who relish in their pregnancy. Some even never feel morning sickness. I am not one of those women. Now I respect and love the life in me, I just hate the growing process.

True Story: For one of my baby showers last time, the hosts played a cute little question/answer game. They asked Kevin a bunch of questions about our pregnancy and I had to guess the answers. They asked "What would Mary say the best part of being pregnant is?" And bless his heart, he said "I don't think Mary would say she likes anything about being pregnant, except that it will be over soon and Clare will be born." Ding Ding Ding. He was correct and I guessed his response on the nose.

I'm making the bold prediction that this little one will be our first little boy. I say this because I don't feel like my hormonal emotions are on a roller coaster like last time. No unexplainable weepies and no arguing with Kevin in Wal-mart over shampoo. When I asked Kevin if he's noticed my lack of huge mood swings, he smiled, shrugged, and plead the 5th. To which I swiftly slapped his arm like any non-hormonal, non-moody woman would do!

I'm looking forward to a few weeks down the road. Not only will the all-day sickness be gone, but I'll also be getting on a boat to go cruising to Mexico with Kevin. I'm sure I'll be super homesick for Clare, but I think this couple's-only-vacation is an opportunity we can't pass up. Watch out naive college students on spring break, this pregnant, mom-of-one is taking her stretchmarks and bikini and hitting the beach!

Silent No More

This picture immediately brings tears to my eyes for many reasons. I am proud of my mother's courage, impressed at her leadership skills, joyful to see how far she has healed from when I was a kid, and thankful that I am alive because of her. This photo was taken at the Texas Rally for Life in Austin. My mother is standing on the capitol steps showing people what really happens to women after an abortion. She came to show support for Cathy Kerr who was giving a testimony for the Silent No More Awareness Campaign. The silent no more campaign is an effort to make the public aware of the devastation that abortion brings to women, men, and their families.

As many of you know, my Mom has worked for years with the Rachael's Vineyard retreats for the Lubbock area. These retreats are for women and their families to finally come to grips with, find peace, and heal from their abortions. As a pro-life person, most of us feel anger and sadness over the lost lives abortion brings, but many times we stop there. We forget to see that along with every abortion is a wounded, broken, and hurt woman who deserves healing, peace, and forgiveness like all of us. God asks us to hate the sin, not the sinner, and that's what my mother strives to do.

I sometimes think about my half-brother, Samuel. Would he look like me? How different my life would be if he lived. Even though he never made it birth, his life matters. His life changed my Mom, which then changed my life, and is still changing the way I am as a Mom. His life, though brief, has sent ripples of change throughout my whole family's life. You must know that one life does matter.

You can not imagine how hard it is to stand in front of friends, family, and strangers telling about you painful past, all for the hopes that it will bring healing to someone who needs it. My Mom needs all the support, love, and encouragement she can get. If you're proud of her like me, you should let her know.

Help Yourself

I'm a big fan of self-help books, because they have helped me get through some of the rockiest parts of my life. Here are some of the top choices!

Emotionally Engaged: A Bride's Guide to Surviving the "Happiest" Time of Her Life.

This is the perfect suggestion for any newly engaged girl. While being engaged is exciting and thrilling, it is also very stressful and crazy to plan a wedding out of thin air.

 

What to Expect When You're Expecting

I wasn't a big fan of this book, but everyone gets it with their first kid. I'm a bigger fan of the internet. Tons of information right at your finger tips. The best pregnancy website has to be http://www.babycenter.com/. It will help calm your fears, explain your random drooling, and then get you excited about what's to come.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.

I cannot praise the wonders of this book enough. A few weeks after Clare was born when all the help had left and my post pardum depression was peaking at it's worst, I was in desperate need for a miracle. I checked out this book and read it between nursing and naps. It completely changed my attitude from desperation to feeling like I had some control. She is the reason Clare doesn't need a pacifier anymore and needs no assistance to fall asleep on her own.

 

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

This has to be the blandest self help book I've ever read. Lot's of facts and no fun fluff. The information in the book was very helpful though. It let me know what the normal sleeping patterns are for babies of different ages are. It gives you a heads up on when nap times will shift and some tips of helping you baby stay well rested.

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers.

This is my latest buy. I haven't read it yet, but I'm excited to see how I show discipline and set boundaries to a daughter who can't even say 'mama' yet.

 

If you know of any other good ones to read, please let me know!

Broken Resolutions Already

While I'm not one to make resolutions, Clare has been bit by the 2010 bug and wanted to make some changes in her life. First and foremost, she has decided it is time to ditch the baby fat for some lean toddler thighs. I know what your thinking. "What? NO!", and that's exactly how I feel. I love those little fat rolls and the creases on her wrists. I tried and I tried to convince her to make a different resolution, but that child has my stubborn genes written all over her.


Just yesterday, I was dutifully watching my baby by being glued to my soap "all my children" when I heard some rustling in the kitchen.

BUSTED! Turns out the temptation of mozzarella string cheese and whole milk are just to strong for my baby. I told her not to worry about it, and we'll start working on some better resolutions for 2011. Like learning how to clean a toilet or pick up dog poop in the backyard like a big girl!

Hello 2010, my soon to be friend

 

I've never really done new year's resolutions before. If I did, I automatically forgot about them by February. This year I've decided to come up with a goal list. I'm sure it will get added on over the year, but here's what I'm starting out with

1. Buy a water/fireproof safe for valuable papers. (technically I can already mark this off, because I bought one with my Christmas money. Not really a fun loving way to spend that money, but it's something I really have been looking at for a long time. I feel much better knowing my marriage certificate won't go up with a puff of smoke.)


2. Make a Will. (Now that we have Clare, I want to make sure there is no confusion with her getting all she deserves. I'm a little nervous, because I hear will's can be pricey when done with a lawyer.)


3. Update my passport. (I haven't been a Krile for years, and Kevin and I are hoping to get away for a little special vacation without the baby this year!)


4. Finish Clare's Baby book. (I never even finished our wedding book, and now I'm too senile to remember all the little details.)


5. Complete our 6 month emergency fund. (This is part of our Dave Ramsey program that we've been on forever. We are only about $4,000 away from our goal, and I am just dying to get there.)


6. Start a Pottery Class. (My mom says that you always need something you are passionate about. And while I love being a stay-at-home Mom, I've lost my passion and need some alone time to find myself again. I did pottery for about 5 years when I was young, so in February I'm hoping to pick it up again. I hope I'm not too rusty!)


7. Adopt a Compassion Child. (This is something that has been on my heart for years, but I've never gotten off my butt to do it. I'm hoping putting it on this list will make it happen this year.)


8. Update this blog every other week. (Now this is a really far fetching goal. I love this blog, but I only like to write when I've got something really good to write about. I'm hoping to be more inspired this year, so that I can post more often.)


9. Get pregnant again sometime later in the year. (Now don't get to excited out there family. I'm not pregnant now, and I hope not to be for a while longer now. But Clare will turn 2 this year, and I'm ready to throw our whole life off kilter again.)


10. Help Kevin with his 2010 goal. (Kevin's come a long way this year, and he's going to go even farther this year. I'm going to be here to support him, encourage him, and remind him how amazing he is.)

Here's to the new year!