A look into a look

::: formal season is here, and the dresses, shoes, jewelry, and make-up is all lining up. But lurking in the corner is a big ugly monster that I think all women face.

I was raised in a loving, supportive family that always thought I was pretty. I've never had a boy friend want me to get a "boob-job" or get a tan. No one has ever called my ugly, but it still doesn't stop the monster from popping in my head. I can be walking past a mirror, and all of a sudden think "dang, I look really good today. I feel like a goddess". And then the next day I'll walk past the same mirror and think "aughhh, what a hideous body". My body has barely changed in the past 4 years, but the way my mind perceives it changes by the day. I swear, if there was a pill out there that made you think you were a model everyday, I would be buying a truck load!

This body is part of who I am. God chose this body for me. No enhancement procedure, tanning bed, friends, modeling company, self-esteem, or clothes is going to change who I am. And on the flip side, the way I look doesn't change who I am. When I go to class in sweat pants a high school t-shirt with no make-up, I'm the same person as the put-together glamour girl at formal. Why can't we see that with our eyes.

My body (and some possible divine reasoning)
1) I am white and burn more than I tan- Maybe this was God's way to keep me from prolonged sun exposure. I have found from my aunts and mother (who tanned all the time as kids) that skin cancer is very prevalent in my family.

2) I am skinny all over except in my thighs (which wiggle all around when I walk) - Maybe this was God's way of preparing me with a comfortable seat for my future children some day. We all know how uncomfortable a bony seat can be.

3) I have very small breasts - Larger breast size can cause back pain with women. I have enough back problems with out adding on extra weight to the cause. I also can hold a conversation with guy, without them looking down instead of into my eyes. Maybe God wanted me to talk to a guy that another girl couldn't because he would get distracted. Who knows? God is cool like that.

I may not always appreciate my body, but I was given it for many reasons. I just need to learn to appreciate it more. So tomorrow morning, when I role out of bed in my stinky pj's, hair all kinds of wild, breath so strong it could kill a small animal, face flush and pimply, I will look into the mirror and proudly yell out "DAMN, I LOOK SEXY!!!!" I suggest you do the same!