Life as a celebrity

- - - Recently I was lucky enough to get a taste of the life celebrities live. okay so it was a tiny tiny taste, maybe even just a lick. It was a situation where my life was posted for everyone to read. well, now that I think about it, probably only a hand full of people saw it. The point is: I felt the sensation of seeing something very personal put into a story, twisted, and then regurgitated for the world to see.

- - - Now you are asking me, Mary did someone write about your fabulous weekend spent in San Antonio? no, but it was a weekend to remember. Mary did someone write about the amazing plastic bag holder that you bought at Wal-mart? wrong again, but it is my best purchase this week.

- - - Instead of all those good topics, someone decided instead to write about my dog.... to be blunt, my dead dog... my dead dog that I had to watch slowly die... My dog died of distemper less than two weeks from when we adopted her from a local shelter, a shelter that has gotten a lot of publicity (not the good kind) lately for possible inhumane issues. A shelter that many people are trying to discredit in an effort to get new management.

- - - Let's take a walk though the day... At this point, it has been a week since Lucy passed away, and I've finally stopped crying about it. Imagine my surprise when a close friend calls me apologizing profusely for an article written about me without permission. to be honest, I didn't see the big deal at first. I went to the website and read my very personal and private e-mail that I had sent to my good friend detailing the ailments and sufferings of my dog before she died.

- - - It was my e-mail, but slightly re-worded and added on. The blog author, wanting to discredit the shelter more, added words like "supposedly". I've never meet this woman in my entire life, I never gave her permission to use my story for her own purposes, and my friend that told her the story made sure she knew that I chose not to go public with it. but still, those personal, painful, and plagiarized words were glowing on my computer screen.

- - - Not only was my life plastered for the world to see like some entertaining news story, she had apparently been trying to contact my vet for more information. this broke the straw on the camels back. Let me just say our vet is amazing. She let me call 5 times a day to ask her the stupidest questions about Lucy and she was supportive every time. If this stupid blogger woman was going to cause me to loose my vet due to the trouble we were causing her... well ... I'm a Christian woman, but there was going to have to be blood shed...

- - - Of course I got the name and number of the author and called her to remove the story immediately, and of course she conveniently did not answer her cell phone or home phone. Praise God, later that day the blog post had be reduced to a few sentences, and she wrote that she would stop trying to contact our vet.

So I wasn't really a celebrity (the woman didn't even use my name in the post) but I did feel how personally it can hit you when the media tries to manipulate something you say or do. Next time that I'm blowing off time in the Wal-mart check out line, I will not pick up the latest tabloid, but instead reach for the Martha Stewart cooking magazine. I might also buy that huge box of matches that are always in the impulse buy section. who really buys matches that way! Okay, I'll save that rant for the next post..........bye!

Give me your forever

One year ago, I stood in front of God, family, and friends and married the love of my life. We promised to give each other our forever, not just a few good years, not just as long as we still felt good about each other, but we vowed on forever. I don’t think I realized what taking someone’s forever would involve, but now I have a bit more of an idea. Kevin, give me your forever….

- There are days when we you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face. When your joy is so infectious that is impossible not to feel lifted up by being next to you. Give me your happiness to me, give me your forever.

- Some days you just can’t catch a break. It’s like a repeated onslaught of bad events and bad timing. Anger fills your chest, and someone needs to stand by your side. Give me your anger, give me your forever.

- They say that marriage is when two become one. There are times when we are so close that I have trouble finding where you end and I begin. That bond is so close and precious. Give me that connection, give me your forever.

- Those migraines pound your head. They make it hard to stand up much less concentrate on doing anything else. Some one needs to help you and watch over you. Give me your sickness, give me your forever.

- You open presents on Christmas day and I open them on the Eve. I read the fortune before even eating the cookie and you have to eat at least half before getting the read the fortune. Our traditions are different, but now in marriage they need to become the same. Give me your traditions, give me your forever.

- You went from one day being a guy that I was dating to the next day being a part of my family. People who seem like strangers are now tied together as family. You lead me into a group of people who know you so well, and know me so little. Give me your family, give me your forever.

Every day our vows become true as we hold on to each other and accept the good and the bad, the rich and the poor, the sickness and the health, the better and the worse every day from now on out. I take your forever with a happy heart, because there is no one else I would want to share my forever with than you.

Scar

No one can see the scars of the heart. But to the owner of the scar, they are always there. Like physical scars they can lay dormant for ages without anyone noticing.

It was a moment in time; a past decision you regret, a loss you never quite got over, or an event that you cannot change how it ended. That moment cuts you deep and time turns it into just a scar. My scar was over events that I lead, but yet had no control over the outcome. Not really a regret, but more of a disappointment.

Everything will be normal in life, the scar long forgotten, and then some unimportant conversation or event will remind you. Your memory starts to blossom with images and sounds of so long ago. Heat starts to grow in my body, my chest starts to tighten ever so slightly, and I feel as though I have to make my breaths purposeful.

Through years of prayer and peer counseling the events of long ago are reconciled and forgotten to most people, but I still bear my scar. I've finally gotten used to it, not really wishing for it to go away. For it is a defining moment in our lives when we receive our scars. A moment that should not be forgotten. Just like looking at the scars on our bodies can remind us of of where we have been, so too the scars on our hearts.

Life has moved me past the days I received my scar. I am healed. All that is left is a small reminder. So I will be content with my silent scar, because it has helped me get to where I am today.