What do you want in life? Okay, so that's a very vague and large question. Let's get a bit more specific. Let me think... What do you want the love of your life to be like? We all have our ideas/our dreams/our hopes. I had an idea of mine. The thing is that the real love of my life turned out to be different than what I had imagined.
Now your thinking. Woah Mary, you're a married woman. Are you saying that your husband isn't the man you want? No, I'm not saying that. The man I married is the perfect man for me. What I'm saying is the process to obtain "my dream" was totally different than what I had in mind. Call it luck or call it faith, but either way my life led me on a path I didn't want to be on, but on a path that lead me to the love of my life.
Things happen in our life that seem like the exact opposite of what we want, but end up having a happy ending. These moments are only obvious in hindsight, and we are able to look fondly on them. I had to quit my job with no prospects of a new job in sight. The day I left that building,
I got a call to start a job that made three times as much money as the one I was leaving. I look back and think how thankful I was to have the faith to quit my job without any idea what the future would be like.
The events that we really struggle with are the ones that even after a few weeks of hindsight have no happy ending. I think of my sister-in-law. She was having a great semester and was already lining up a summer internship in South America to not only have a great job, but also get the research material she desperately needs to write her thesis. Then one night of dancing at a friends wedding has caused her whole future to turn into a large question mark. She hurt her knee to the point that she may have to have surgery and be stuck at home all summer. I assure you this was not the path she thought she would be on, but never the less it is where she has landed. I have faith (that with a little luck) this new path will lead her to the life that makes her happy. It may take years to see the happiness in the new path she has been lead down, but I know it will happen eventually.
This post all started with me wanting to tell the world how amazing my husband is. How he is my world, and how God has blessed me in this union. But an event has knocked me off my feet and lead me to wonder what will be the happy story at the end of my path. Kevin has been asked to live and work in Dallas for at least two weeks (and most likely more) this summer. It made my blood-pressure rise to think that his boss was asking us to miss a month of our first year of marriage, but I have to find peace in this.
Our story started with me being on a path I didn't want, so I have to believe that this will have the same happy result. That this sacrifice will bring us to a better place. Having faith is not easy, and it doesn't always seem to be the most logical, but it is always the best way. It's having faith that something beautiful can come from something ugly. That all our lives have a broken road that leads us to the life we always wanted, but never quite knew what it looked like.
May 2, 2007
April 6, 2007
Put Your Big Girl Panties on...
I've come to the conclusion the other day that I'm going to be an adult. The startling fact is that I'm actually liking the changes. Don't get me wrong; I still miss and remember fondly my college years. You have an abundance of people that are all close to your age around you. There's an endless flow of social or spiritual things you can do. And you always can party till the wee hours of the morning.
But that's has all changed now. I was talking with my co-workers about weekends, and all they talked about is going to 6th Street and getting trashed. I couldn't even remember the last time I had gone to 6th Street. Maybe it's because I'm married or because I don't have college friends around, but I was happier thinking about my lazy weekend at home fishing and renting movies.
Ways you turn into an adult:
1) Never go to sleep after 10 p.m. on a week night. Sleep is a much higher priority than partying at night. You have a real job now, and you need at least 7 hours of sleep a night. A sad consequence to this is that it is nearly impossible to sleep in later than 9:00 on weekends. Your body is so used to waking up early during the week, that someone forgot to give it the memo to sleep in on the weekend.
2) You call your parents not because you have to, but you want to. No longer seen as a dependent in their eyes, you become more of a friend. We can talk more freely about anythings, and they actually want your opinion on things. I love talking to my parents.
3) It becomes extremely hard to keep up with old friends. We all thank facebook and myspace for making it easier to know what's going on in the lives of people that used to be close to us, but its just not the same. Conversations with friends turn into long sessions of updates on what has changed since you last talked, instead of the random conversations you used to have. Ultimately distance and how often you talk play the biggest roles on which of your once numerous friendship stay close.
4) Huge financial commitments. Kevin and I are going to buy a house this summer, and to wrap your mind around a 30 Year loan is hard to handle. You go from being a naive newlywed couple to having to figure out: how many kids are we going to have? (this will determine how many bedrooms we need), is this a good school district? (it maybe a gorgeous house, but in a crummy district), what would be the monthly payment? (Sure I have a good job now, but I'm not going to have it forever). It's all really exciting. Walking into each home and imagining how your life will start to look. Maybe a park close-by that you can take the kids on picnics to or a huge tree in the back that will make a tree-house some day.
If you can think of any other ways you've become an adult, please share them! If I haven't experienced them already, it will be nice to be prepared that they are coming along the way!
But that's has all changed now. I was talking with my co-workers about weekends, and all they talked about is going to 6th Street and getting trashed. I couldn't even remember the last time I had gone to 6th Street. Maybe it's because I'm married or because I don't have college friends around, but I was happier thinking about my lazy weekend at home fishing and renting movies.
Ways you turn into an adult:
1) Never go to sleep after 10 p.m. on a week night. Sleep is a much higher priority than partying at night. You have a real job now, and you need at least 7 hours of sleep a night. A sad consequence to this is that it is nearly impossible to sleep in later than 9:00 on weekends. Your body is so used to waking up early during the week, that someone forgot to give it the memo to sleep in on the weekend.
2) You call your parents not because you have to, but you want to. No longer seen as a dependent in their eyes, you become more of a friend. We can talk more freely about anythings, and they actually want your opinion on things. I love talking to my parents.
3) It becomes extremely hard to keep up with old friends. We all thank facebook and myspace for making it easier to know what's going on in the lives of people that used to be close to us, but its just not the same. Conversations with friends turn into long sessions of updates on what has changed since you last talked, instead of the random conversations you used to have. Ultimately distance and how often you talk play the biggest roles on which of your once numerous friendship stay close.
4) Huge financial commitments. Kevin and I are going to buy a house this summer, and to wrap your mind around a 30 Year loan is hard to handle. You go from being a naive newlywed couple to having to figure out: how many kids are we going to have? (this will determine how many bedrooms we need), is this a good school district? (it maybe a gorgeous house, but in a crummy district), what would be the monthly payment? (Sure I have a good job now, but I'm not going to have it forever). It's all really exciting. Walking into each home and imagining how your life will start to look. Maybe a park close-by that you can take the kids on picnics to or a huge tree in the back that will make a tree-house some day.
If you can think of any other ways you've become an adult, please share them! If I haven't experienced them already, it will be nice to be prepared that they are coming along the way!
February 28, 2007
So You Want to Adopt an Animal...
As a farewell to my job at the humane society, I wanted to post the info everyone should know before adopting an animal. As you can imagine, I have dealt with many, many idiotic people in the short 4 months that I worked there.
1) Spay and Neuter your pets!
If you don't want to be perceived as a complete idiot, never never never say that you would like your animal "spayded"... it's just spayed. And a hint for everyone else, male animals get neutered and female animals get spayed. You will look like a complete idiot if you schedule your animal for a neuter and bring in a female pet.
2) Don't declaw your cats!
Just so you know, it is illegal in many European countries to declaw your cat. That should make you think that maybe there is something wrong with it. Let me paint you a visual... Imagine going to the beauty parlor to get what most people consider just a nail trim or manicure. Then as they are pampering your hands, they get out a knife and saw off your fingers to the last joint. If it's not a humane practice for humans, it shouldn't be a humane practice for cats. If you want a clawless animal, get a fish!
3) Why are breeds so important?
At the shelter we hear hundreds of stories of people paying thousands of dollars for "pure breed" dogs... What's the point. Besides costing more to adopt a pure breed, they most likely cost you more at the vet since they are more likely to have medical problems. Pure breeds also have a shorter life span. Go to a shelter, save a life, and adopt a dog with a mix of breeds. You won't regret it!
4) Keep your animals...
If you have made the decision to adopt a animal, make the decision to keep the animal. It's horrible the reasons we've heard of people dropping of animals. Don't move to a place that doesn't allow you to keep your pet. Don't expect your vet bills to be cheap. Don't dump your animal at a church assuming they'll be able to take care of it. Don't assume that if you have to get rid of your animal in a short time, that you can get it into a no-kill shelter. If your new dog chews your furniture, pees in the house, and doesn't know how to walk on a leash, realize that you need to get your dog into a training school and not to the nearest shelter to drop off. Understand fully what you are getting into before you get an animal!
Okay... that's enough ranting. I loved my job at the shelter, because for as many horrible people you met, you also met as many wonderful people. I met a woman that adopted two cats, because we noticed at the shelter that when we separated the cats, their health worsened. I met people who donate hours and hours every day to scoop poop for our animals. I met a family with small children that adopted a pit bull, because they could see past the breed (they sent us pictures of their two year old kissing the dog and hanging on her tail!).
1) Spay and Neuter your pets!
If you don't want to be perceived as a complete idiot, never never never say that you would like your animal "spayded"... it's just spayed. And a hint for everyone else, male animals get neutered and female animals get spayed. You will look like a complete idiot if you schedule your animal for a neuter and bring in a female pet.
2) Don't declaw your cats!
Just so you know, it is illegal in many European countries to declaw your cat. That should make you think that maybe there is something wrong with it. Let me paint you a visual... Imagine going to the beauty parlor to get what most people consider just a nail trim or manicure. Then as they are pampering your hands, they get out a knife and saw off your fingers to the last joint. If it's not a humane practice for humans, it shouldn't be a humane practice for cats. If you want a clawless animal, get a fish!
3) Why are breeds so important?
At the shelter we hear hundreds of stories of people paying thousands of dollars for "pure breed" dogs... What's the point. Besides costing more to adopt a pure breed, they most likely cost you more at the vet since they are more likely to have medical problems. Pure breeds also have a shorter life span. Go to a shelter, save a life, and adopt a dog with a mix of breeds. You won't regret it!
4) Keep your animals...
If you have made the decision to adopt a animal, make the decision to keep the animal. It's horrible the reasons we've heard of people dropping of animals. Don't move to a place that doesn't allow you to keep your pet. Don't expect your vet bills to be cheap. Don't dump your animal at a church assuming they'll be able to take care of it. Don't assume that if you have to get rid of your animal in a short time, that you can get it into a no-kill shelter. If your new dog chews your furniture, pees in the house, and doesn't know how to walk on a leash, realize that you need to get your dog into a training school and not to the nearest shelter to drop off. Understand fully what you are getting into before you get an animal!
Okay... that's enough ranting. I loved my job at the shelter, because for as many horrible people you met, you also met as many wonderful people. I met a woman that adopted two cats, because we noticed at the shelter that when we separated the cats, their health worsened. I met people who donate hours and hours every day to scoop poop for our animals. I met a family with small children that adopted a pit bull, because they could see past the breed (they sent us pictures of their two year old kissing the dog and hanging on her tail!).
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